Jake Johnson

Articles Written
Feb 15, 2015

Zach Lavine Brought Back The Dunk Contest

By all accounts, the NBA Slam Dunk Contest has been 6 feet deep in the ground since 2000, the year in which Vince Carter put on the greatest dunking performance in the history of basketball. Since that moment, we’ve suffered...

Feb 14, 2015

Watch Damian Lillard CRUSH a Freestyle

Damian Lillard has a quite, confident way about him that makes the Blazers guard one of the more interesting players in the NBA. While he may not say much on or off the court, it’s clear that Lillard isn’t afraid...

Feb 14, 2015

Mo'ne Davis is the Best Athlete Alive Right Now

I watched the NBA All-Star Celebrity game last night because I love all things basketball. While watching, two things became very, very clear. One, I am a complete and utter loser. Two, Mo’ne Davis is the best athlete alive right...

Kevin Durant Eviscerates Chris Paul In OKC Blowout

Kevin Durant and the Thunder are fighting for their playoff lives right now, and tension is certainly pretty high. At 26-25, OKC currently sits two and a half games back of Phoenix for the final Western Conference Playoff spot. Every...

Feb 8, 2015

Robert Kraft Wearing Super Bowl Cuff Links Like A Boss

For an 73 year old man, Robert Kraft has a significant amount of swag. He’s obviously loaded. He owns one of the most dominant franchises in the history of the NFL. He dates an actress who is 39 years younger...

Feb 1, 2015

Roger Goodell Turned Down A Pregame Interview And White People Are Freaking Out

Roger Goodell reportedly refused to speak to NBC prior to today’s Super Bowl. The commish apparently turned down Bob Costas for an interview- this news is surprising, as Costas might be the only sports personality with a stick farther up...

Feb 1, 2015

Feb 1, 2015

This Is Just The Saddest Tweet

The Knicks faced off against the Lakers in a good old fashion suckoff today. Going against the lethal starting lineup of Wayne Ellington, Jordan Clarkson, Ryan Kelly, Jordan Hill and Robert Sacre, New York gained it’s ninth win of the...

Feb 1, 2015

SNL Did A Richard Sherman And Marshawn Lynch Skit And It Was Actually Funny

If I said that SNL pretty much sucks these days, most people would agree. For every 10 skits that they pull together, maybe 1 or 2 makes me laugh out loud. Absolutely no reaction to the others. However, this Marshawn...

Feb 1, 2015

Non-Human Giannis Antetokounmpo Destroys Basketball Hoop

The dunk contest might actually not suck this year, as long as participants like Giannis Antetokounmpo bring something similar to the below dunk into this year’s competition. The Greek Freak joins Zach Levine, Victor Oladio, Mason “White Flight” Plumlee as...

Jan 31, 2015

I Need This Marshawn Lynch Crotch Grab Painting And I Needed It Yesterday

In Marshawn Lynch crotch grab news, some hero made a piece of art out of Marshawn’s infamous  celebration, and oh my god is it absurd. Marshawn Masterpiece “Le Beast” @MoneyLynch #BeastMode #Seahawks #12s #GoHawks #SB49 pic.twitter.com/lSZUG2yeT1 — Fulton Hawk (@fultonhawk)...

Jan 31, 2015

Student Nails Half Court Heave on College Gameday

College Gameday hit Charlottesville today for showdown between the undefeated Virginia Cavaliers and the 17-3 Duke Blue Devils. One lucky UVA student started off his Gameday experience in the best way possible- to the tune of 18 thousand dollars. Sophomore...

Jan 25, 2015

Superhuman JJ Watt Played Catch With Fan And Made An Absurd Catch

JJ Watt is such a dick. He knows he’s better than all of us and he will stop at nothing to make sure we know that’s he’s a god damn superhuman. Even if he’s just playing catch with a fan...