Sammy Sosa Turned 50 Last Night

via Instagram
You know how I know you’re old if you were in college during the Sammy Sosa era? Because Slammin’ Sammy celebrated his 50th birthday party last night at some club where they brought out flaming bottles as if Slammin’ was some sort of 21-year-old IG socialite. You know, very low-key bottle service.
I can’t tell where the big party took place because Sammy’s IG account hashtagged like six different cities. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Sammy has this new account where there is exclusive content and there’s new content pretty much every single day, which is rare for guys his age. Do you know how long I have to wait for new Roger Clemens content? It’s becoming ridiculous how long we go between dumps. And don’t get me started on Brett Favre. He used to provide me with at least 2-3 posts a week.

As for Slammin’, he’s still livin’ life large and dare I say…he’s starting to get blacker. Look at that photo above. Sammy is getting his color back.

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