LaVar Ball Says The Lakers Have to Sign LaMelo, LiAngelo If They Want to Keep Lonzo

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We made it exactly two weeks without writing something about LaVar Ball, but the unlikely streak ends today with the loud mouth helicopter parent already trying to strong arm the Lakers into signing his other two sons, LaMelo and LiAngelo.

LaVar told Lithuanian basketball journalist Donatas Urbonas that if the Lakers don’t bring on Gelo next year, he’ll go back to Lithuania to play with LaMelo until Lonzo’s rookie deal expires. Of course, this masterplan doesn’t exactly check out given Lonzo would then become a restricted free agent — meaning the Lakers can retain him even if he signs an offer sheet with another team.
But hey, forget about NBA rules for a minute and enjoy LaVar’s basketball fantasy (via Donatas Urbonas’ Twitter).
Sidenote: We’ve bolded the good parts.

I want all my three boys to play for the Lakers. But if that does not happen, I’m telling you the story what’s gonna happen first. If they don’t take Gelo this year, I bring back Gelo here (Prienai) to play with Melo for two years. Lonzo will be on his third year and I want let every NBA team know, that Lonzo is not going to resign with the Lakers but will go to any team that will take all of my three boys. That’s my plan.
Lonzo plays best when he is with his brother. Why wouldn’t — he is hell of a shooter. They don’t play the same position. You see how successful he was when he was with his brother?
Why wouldn’t you be smart and say: so, you want your brother? Come on, let’s complete the Royal Flush and get the other brother.
We don’t have to go any draft. Just sign him in free agency. You don’t have to give Gelo 15M. Give my million for three years, we’ll take it. Cause they make so much money off the court, they loose spare change.
So now you win championship after championship on fact that my boys will never leave. That’s what I mean championship, championship, championship. You got to keep the team together for a long time, but you can’t because more money is offered, that’s why guys jumping between the teams.
But what’s better than three Ball boys together? The Big Three. The original Big Three.

You have to hand it to LaVar: the man knows how to make headlines — from Lithuania, no less! This pipe dream, however, is totally bonkers. I expect a revised plan to get back in the Lakers’ good graces within the week.

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