Texas Coach Jeff Banks’ GF Pole Assassin Shares Details From Alleged Monkey Attack

texas football coach monkey attack

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I have to admit, this story involving assisstant Texas football coach Jeff Banks and his ex-stripper girlfriend named “Pole Assassin” has to be one of my favorite stories of all-time. At first, I thought the headline was a madlib, but it turns out that Pole Assassin has a pet monkey that was a part of her act and it allegedly attacked a trick-or-treater over the weekend.

The internet was buzzing with rumors late Monday night with some reports that a kid was seriously injured, but Pole Assassin — who once appeared on Jerry Springer — attempted to clear the air on social media.

The response was predictably a mess, but it just adds to the absurd beauty of the story.

First, here are the main subjects:

Since the rumors started flying, Pole Assassin, whose real name is apparently Dani, spoke out on the situation. While she didn’t outright deny that someone was bitten by the monkey, she said that the story is not entirely true and that the attack may have been provoked.

Per pole assassin, the incident happened when a kid began roaming through her yard after completing a maze. Unfortunately, Pole Assassin deleted her account after the Twitter exchange, but the internet was Johnny-on-the-spot and captured the screengrab of her story for us all to enjoy.

People lie so much it’s ridiculous ! Stop believing everything u hear ! And more of what u see ! SMH! No one was viciously attack this a lie , a whole lie ! She was not apart of any haunted house , the kid did not have permission to be on the other side of my property !

I had a haunted house on one side gated off/ he had no permission to go pass the gate i had no idea he went in my back yard. neither did i know anything about a bite ! Until a doctor of neighborhood told me the treat a small bite. No parent have contacted me about it !

A 11 /12 year old child should know better then to enter someone yard without permission and old enough to also follow the rules . The rules were when u get to the gate turn around and come back out for candy every other parent and child did so !

Stop with the lies and this is my monkey not Jeffs , so why try and bash him for something that at has nothing to do with him !

This should settle it.

Justice for the monkey. This is an attack on its character.

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