Screw It, Let’s Rename Columbus, OH to Flavortown

If you have a Christopher Columbus statue in your town, there’s a pretty good chance it won’t be there in a few weeks’ time. As Confederate statues have been removed in recent weeks among unrest in the US, statues of the legendary explorer have been subject to the same scrutiny due to the fact that he used slaves and exterminated a great deal of Native American’s when he showed up here. Regardless of whether or not you think this is all necessary or not, it has allowed the internet to come up with a fantastic idea: renaming Columbus, Ohio to Flavortown.


If you’re familiar with Guy Fieri lore, you’ll know that Flavortown is Guy Fieri’s catchphrase and, we imagine, a perfect utopia. As Mr. Fieri was born in Columbus, it would only make sense that the best way to remove any association with one of the potential worst people in history is to name yourself after one of the best people in history, and a native son no less. A petition calling for the name change has garnered over 33,000 signatures, and they honestly make a pretty strong case.


According to the petition, changing the name to Flavortown “honors Central Ohio’s proud heritage as a culinary crossroads and one of the nation’s largest test markets for the food industry.” I didn’t know this was the case, but you’ve got to wonder where all of these Fast Food joints test the crazier products that they come out with before a full-scale roll out (we’re looking at you, Mac ‘n Cheetos). 


Guy Fieri is an endlessly positive figure and a fantastic meme, and having that reflected in the name of Ohio’s largest population center would be the first step in turning 2020 around. Will it happen? Certainly not, but we can dream!

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