Breaking news out of Taiwan: a city counselor has broken literally 53 chopsticks using only his buttcrack. I’m sure you have many, many questions, and we’re here to answer them as best we can (without understanding Chinese).
First off: Why would someone do this? Well, quite simply, he lost a bet. Chiu Wei-chieh, the councilor of the “Can’t Stop This Party” Party (fantastic name), predicted that only 400,000 or so people would go out and vote for mayor in the city of Kaohsiung. For every 10,000 people over his predicted total, instead of donating to charity or something even somewhat normal, he would break exactly one chopstick using only his ass.
Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on just how weird this guy is), exactly 939,090 votes were cast, leading to the fatalities of 53 poor chopsticks. If you check out the video, his technique is really fascinating, and not what you may think when first contemplating just how to break a chopstick using only your butt. The “Iron Butt” technique, which Chiu apparently learned from watching some Japanese TV show, involves sliding the chopsticks through the bottom of your underwear and then just tugging them up SUPER hard with such force that it causes the sticks to break. Why the technique was developed in the first place is a total mystery, but I guess it’s found a use!
Without spoiling any more content (there are some surprises in the video), we strongly recommend you check it out. Comedy here in the US just doesn’t quite hit the same, and I think we need to start getting a little bit more creative in order to keep pace. Let’s submit “Chopsticks Broken With Ass In One Sitting” to the world record organizations and really ramp up the international competition!