Are Gatorade Showers Becoming Too Dangerous?

The Gatorade shower is one of the oldest traditions in sports. The Gatorade shower has become just as important as raising a trophy after a football team wins a big game. However, during this year’s bowl season, the Gatorade shower took on a new life for some schools. A life that I think could be putting our college coaches in danger in the very near future. It’s being called (by me), the Sponsor Shower.

After the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl, legendary Ohio U football coach Frank Solich was expecting to get the traditional Gatorade bath, but instead got a cooler of french fries dumped on his head. Now, Coach Solich is a 75-year old man and he should not be attacked with the force of a cooler of french fries without warning. The latest reports are that he has made a full recovery, but we just got lucky this time.

Next, we have Kent State head coach Sean Lewis who just won his first bowl game as a college head coach. This should be one of the best moments of his life, when suddenly a smoothie attacks.

Unprovoked and unwarranted. I’m sure some of you reading this are thinking, “oh you’re paranoid, it’s just a smoothie, what could go wrong?” Hmm, I don’t know, let’s see what delectable green smoothies Tropical Smoothie Cafe makes.


“What’s so wrong with that, Blake? It sounds delicious!” You ignorant fools…

Healthline– An allergic reaction to pineapple can be triggered by eating a small amount of the fruit or drinking pineapple juice. You may even have an allergic reaction from touching pineapple.

The most serious complication from a pineapple allergy is anaphylaxis. Anaphylaxis is a medical emergency and can be life-threatening

What are the chances somebody checked that Coach Lewis wasn’t allergic to pineapples? I would guess around 0%. It wouldn’t be such a cute little bit if Coach Lewis had gone into anaphylaxis shock on stage. Not cute at all.

Next, we have one of our nation’s most beloved football coaches, Herm Edwards. He has proved all the doubters wrong and had a lot of success so far at Arizona State, including his big Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl victory over Florida State. A triumphant moment for Coach Herm, until…

Why Bowl Season is the best?? Members of the MSM are promoting this type of behavior and that is flat out abhorrent. Those with a platform NEED to speak out against this type of injustice. To date, Coach Herm’s only sponsor is Coors Light:

How could this Frosted Flakes shower affect his ability to land futures sponsors? Cheerios could have been about to pick up the phone until they saw this happen and all the sudden Coach is out a huge check. It should have been a Coors Light bath or nothing for Coach Herm.

Finally, worst of all, we had a dual attack on AIR FORCE Head Coach Troy Calhoun. Now, not only is this man a football coach, but part of his job is also to be a mentor for the future troops of our nation’s Air Force. He is molding the men that will be responsible for the safety of our children, and we are letting something like this happen to him:

It’s hard for me to even look at that. All that man has done for our country and he is getting Cheez-Its AND Gatorade dumped on him simultaneously? I don’t know if you’ve ever had them before, but these cheese crackers have four razor-sharp corners and that many of them being dumped on you at once with the strength of an elite athlete behind them cannot be safe. And to top it all off, let’s just embarrass this model American while we’re at it why don’t we?

How silly does he now look on NATIONAL TELEVISION with wet Cheez-Its stuck to his hat? If I was Coach Calhoun there would be a lawsuit a brewin’ right about now. I hope he feels the same way.

In summation, we can’t risk this becoming the new norm. I know the silent majority agrees with me and we can’t let the 1%, screaming about how great it is, win this fight. If by next Bowl SZN this hasn’t been eradicated, I have no doubt other bowl sponsors will pick up on it and we may not be as lucky as we were this year. Hmm, let’s see how that would go…

TaxSlayer Bowl

What, now we’re going to just dump all of our taxes on our coaches? It is not their responsibility to deal with our financial issues.

Rose Bowl

Thorn City.

Mitsubishi Motors Las Vegas Bowl

Flying cars, but not in a cool way.

Bad Boy Mowers Gasparilla Bowl

I mean, come on. Bad boys and lawnmowers? Our coaches don’t stand a chance.

Thank you for your time and I hope you have decided to see the truth behind these acts of horror. I implore you to share this with as many people as possible so something can be done before it is too late. College football coaches are this country’s greatest resource and we must protect them at all costs.

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