Matt Patricia Without A Beard

This is Matt Patricia without a beard.

That is all. pic.twitter.com/g6n47IWuAv

— Michael Grey (@TheMichaelGrey) January 16, 2018

This Matt Patricia without a beard post goes out to the Detroit Lions fans out there who are trying to figure out the mysterious ways of their future head coach and that beard that the mad genius wields as some sort of Hoodie-esque force field. I know the question is coming from a Lions fan/wife out there: What does Matt Patricia look like without a beard?
Ladies, there are a few things that are to be left alone in the NFL: Bill Belichick’s hooded sweatshirts, Smokin Jay Cutler, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders, etc.
That’s why I’m begging Lions management to leave Matt Patricia’s beard alone when he becomes the next head coach. Don’t come out with some ridiculous demand that he shaves it. In fact, if I were Patricia, I’d have beard language in the contract. The team should be fully understanding of the marketing opportunities associated with that beard.
If Patricia can get the Lions a playoff win — let’s say they get to the NFC championship game during his tenure — you slap Patricia’s bearded face on the back of a Ford F-150 and watch those trucks fly off the shelves. The Matt Patricia Edition.

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The Lions Should Back Up A Brinks Truck For Matt Patricia

Matt Patricia coaching bio:

Patricia joined the Patriots under head coach Bill Belichick as an offensive coaching assistant in 2004. In 2005, upon the departure of assistant offensive line/tight ends coach Jeff Davidson, Patricia was reassigned as the Patriots’ assistant offensive line coach. Then-linebackers coach Dean Pees was promoted to defensive coordinator after the season, prompting another reassignment for Patricia, this time to linebackers coach for the 2006 season. Patricia was named the team’s safeties coach in 2011. In 2012, he was promoted to the title of defensive coordinator, though he had been calling the plays on defense since the departure of Pees following the 2009 season. In January 2016, the Patriots gave permission for Patricia to interview for the head-coaching position of the Cleveland Browns, but Patricia would remain with the Patriots as defensive coordinator going into the 2016 season.