As you can see from the above photo, it doesn’t look like our boy Sammy Sosa has spent much time this summer catching some rays. I really didn’t think it was possible for Sammy to get much whiter than he already is, but here we are — Slammin’s apparently so white that he tucks his polo into his goddamn jeans. And that red fedora? Yeah, it only accentuates the Michael Jackson vibe he’s apparently going for.
You must be wondering to yourself, “Why the hell is Slammin’ and his red fedora posing with nurses at a hospital?” No answers on our end — we’re just glad the pics exist.