The last time we heard from Sammy Sosa, LA James found Slammin’ acting all white at a western-themed birthday party where he was dressed as a cowboy. It was his wife’s birthday or something stupid like that. All I know is that it was very white.
Now we have Sammy back in action doing some yachting over the weekend looking whiter than he’s ever looked. I’m talking Mike Wilbon white. So white you shop at Whole Foods, eat vegan and have composting station in your backyard.
At this point I have no idea if Sammy is really the same human being who mesmerized us by slammin juiced up rockets out of Wrigley. It’s like he’s being controlled by robots telepathically and there’s no getting him back. He’s a goner.