A writer for The Every Three Weekly, the University of Michigan’s satire publication, is going to have a bright future as a writer for The Onion one day.
Last Sunday, the paper ran an article on AP Top 25 rankings, but instead of college basketball teams, it featured prominent terrorist organizations across the globe—and constant ACC threat, Duke. But unfortunately for Coach K, it looks like his team is going to have some issues overtaking the likes of ISIS and red hot Boko Haram.
According to “the report:”
Terror analysts across the globe have been very impressed with what Boko Haram has been able to accomplish over the past few months. Yet, CIA terrorism expert Jim Rollins explained that they need more consistency as a unit. “They’ve had an incredible couple of months, ” Rollins stated. “Their victory in Monguno last month was impressive. Now they just need to string up a few wins in a row and start making a run.” If they can do that, he explained, a number one seed is undoubtedly in their future.
It sure sounds like Duke is going to need a healthy Jahlil Okafor to make a run at the faux one-seed.
[H/T to Reddit College Basketball]
