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At 8:00 p.m. on Monday night, it felt as if the New York Jets were on top of the football world. 30 minutes later, those feelings had turned into a nightmarish hellscape that Jets fans are used to being a part of.
The franchise saw its biggest off-season acquisition, Aaron Rodgers, go down with a season-ending Achilles injury just four plays into his tenure.
Super Bowl aspirations have now become maybe next year. However, it doesn’t have to end this way.
Even without Rodgers, the Jets defeated the Buffalo Bills on Monday night in an epic Monday Night Football opener. But Jets fans seem to know what they have in new starter Zach Wilson, and it’s not good. S
o, who could the team bring in to lead the team on a Disney-like season? Here are 1o outlandish options the Jets could choose from.
10. Bruce Wayne
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Who better to run the team than the billionaire prince of Gotham City, Bruce Wayne? Wayne has dealt with hardships just as severe as Jets fans. Which includes watching his parents being murdered outside of the theater as a child.
Wayne has the darkness in his heart that mixes well with the redemption arc the Jets are looking for.
Just don’t ask him to play in night games. HE’S BUSY!
9. Matt Saracen
Zack Wilson is the Jets version of Matt Saracen#ClearEyesFullHeartsCantLose#Jets pic.twitter.com/N5AqmwV7Ms
— Jason Palter (@paltersports) September 12, 2023
The ultimate underdog, Matt Saracen, would be an amazing addition to the Jets roster. No one had a higher mountain to climb as a member of the Dillon Panthers. Saracen even has experience in big-game moments, including a state championship victory.
However, would he put up his paintbrush to deliver a championship to New York? It couldn’t hurt to ask.
8. Alex Moran
The only backup QB that can save the Jets season pic.twitter.com/DNkN4i4t3D
— Jack (not a burner) (@_jackmcpherson) September 12, 2023
He may not admit it, but Aaron Rodgers has built an anti-hero stigma around his name in the league. With Zach Wilson sharing the QB room with Rodgers, it feels as if the two have created a perfect yin and yang combination.
Maybe the Jets should bring in another personality that would be the opposite of Wilson. Alex Moran would be the perfect chocolate ice cream for Wilson’s vanilla.
The biggest issue is whether Wilson’s mom would be okay with the addition.
7. Any Ninja Turtle
'TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: MUTANT MAYHEM' has currently earned $161.6M worldwide. pic.twitter.com/NCiT8LYx2X
— Cartoon Base (@TheCartoonBase) September 12, 2023
They live in the sewers of New York. They’re also mutants. Any of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would be a perfect QB under center for the Jets. However, the turtles being teenagers could raise an issue for the Jets.
One would have to believe the NCAA would put a stop to this because they believe the turtles deserve a chance at an excellent education.
Yeah, education. That’s what the NCAA stands for.
6. Doug Heffernan
Doug Heffernan. The originator of watching football religiously: pic.twitter.com/fM5AAHCgrq
— Barstool New York (@BarstoolNYC) September 11, 2023
He is already a diehard fan of the Jets, so it would make perfect sense to give Doug Heffernan a call. Heffernan has always enjoyed looking back on his time on the gridiron. Including a return already that didn’t go according to plan. However, this time could be different.
Heffernan on the sidelines could be just as enjoyable as seeing Jared Lorenzen eliminate defenses back in his days at Kentucky.
Let’s just hope Doug’s eyes aren’t getting weary or his back is too tight.
5. Tony Soprano
I lose one fantasy football matchup next thing you know I’m acting like Tony Soprano pic.twitter.com/2rPiysniZ3
— Sopranos World (@SopranosWorld) September 10, 2023
No matter what Uncle Jun might say, Tony Soprano could have been one of the greatest high school football stars to ever play in the state of New Jersey.
While his football career may not have panned out the way he hoped, Soprano would be a great candidate to get a call from the Jets. Because yes, that final scene in ‘The Sopranos’ ended with Tony having a lovely meal with his family, and I will not hear any other opinion.
4. Joe Namath
ESPN sneaks in a MNF promo with the College GameDay crew — and Joe Namath — making Bills-Jets picks. pic.twitter.com/zylmGpJRN4
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) September 9, 2023
Joe Namath may wear his pants a little higher these days, but that wouldn’t stop him from being the leader the Jets need. Namath is the only quarterback to bring a Super Bowl to the Jets organization, and bygawd, why can’t he do it again?
However, Joe may want to watch the tape on that putrid performance from the Jets offensive line from this past Monday before signing on the dotted line.
3. Mario
Super Mario Bros. was released this day in 1985.pic.twitter.com/N9E3j666WZ
— Jon Erlichman (@JonErlichman) September 13, 2023
What better way to celebrate the creation of Super Mario Bros. than by giving the reigns of the Jets offense to everyone’s favorite plumber? He will need to exchange his iconic red look for Lugi’s green, but that shouldn’t be a problem.
No one is stopping an offense led by a guy that can throw fireballs. Or if his pal Yoshi earns a contract, he can literally eat the defense!
It’s the perfect game plan.
2. Monica Geller
On this day in 1996 the Friends football episode aired. A quick recap of the game pic.twitter.com/WPta6yZ5IY
— Mike Camerlengo (@MCamerlengo) November 21, 2020
Losing isn’t an option when it comes to describing the competitive nature of Monica Geller. Not only would the Jets have a fierce athlete leading the offense, but the locker room would be spotless due to Geller’s OCD of everything being perfect.
The only downside would be that Ross would likely attend home games, and nobody likes Ross.
1. Tim Tebow
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I mean.
