Donald Trump Issues Greatest Statement In Existence On His ‘Hole-In-One’

Turnberry, South Ayrshire, Scotland. 30.07.2015 US presidential hopeful Donald Trump with his daughter Ivanka on the opening day of the Ricoh Women's British Open at Trump Turnberry.

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Did you hear the rumors over the weekend that Donald Trump hit a hole-in-one? Well, he wants to make sure you did.

In one of the most Donald Trump ways possible, the 45th President of the United States hilariously bragged about his alleged feat. Trump issued a lengthy statement to share the “100%” truth about the hole-in-one which “sailed magnificently” through a “rather strong wind” and went “clank” into the hole.

The statement may just be one of the best pieces of comedy writing in existence.

A video of Trump — which is equally hilarious — also surfaced on social media that shows Trump retrieving the alleged hole-in-one ball from the hole and smiling for the camera.

You can read the full statement below:

“Many people are asking, so I’ll give it to you now, it is 100 percent true. While playing with the legendary golfer Ernie Els, winner of four Majors and approximately 72 other tournaments throughout the world, Gene Sauers, winner of the Senior U.S. Open, Ken Duke, and Mike Goodes, both excellent tour players, I made a hole-in-one. It took place at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach, Florida on the 7th hole, which was playing 181-yards into a slight wind. I hit a 5-iron, which sailed magnificently into a rather strong wind, with approximately 5 feet of cut, whereupon it bounced twice and then went clank, into the hole.

“These great tour players noticed it before I did because their eyes are slightly better, but on that one hole only, their swings weren’t. Anyway, there’s a lot of chatter about it, quite exciting, and people everywhere seem to be asking for the facts. Playing with that group of wonderful, talented players was a lot of fun. The match was Ernie and me (with no strokes) against Gene, Mike, and Ken. I won’t tell you who won because I am a very modest individual, and you will then say I was bragging — and I don’t like people who brag.”

What a guy.

You have to appreciate that Trump isn’t a bragger and that he doesn’t like people who brag — or so he says after issuing a statement for the sole purpose of bragging about the social media rumor.

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