A Real Headline- O.J. Simpson Has Posted His First TikTok

@oj32simpson

♬ Bored in the House – Jeremy

It finally happened. I’m sure, like me, a lot of you out there have tried to get into a new hobby during this quarantine. I realized that 99% of my time is spent watching sports, reading about sports, betting on sports, writing about sports, and talking about sports, so I decided to try out a new hobby. *narrator voice* It did not go well…

Despite what the haters are saying, I think my cactus is fucking sick. But that’s not the point… the point is we’re all trying out new things to keep ourselves entertained. Even O.J. Simpson. That’s right, the Juice is officially loose on TikTok! He fired up the Tok to get in on the new viral quarantine Tok Trend “Bored in the House.” This gave us an in-depth look at what O.J. is up to during his quarantine. Let’s start with Shot Number One:

Wow! O.J. is just watching some TV in his recliner like all of us! I can just picture him now watching Tiger King and saying “why is everybody so hard on this Carol Baskins?? She seems completely innocent to me!”

On to Shot Number Two:

O.J. is just doing a little indoor putting. Looks like a killer time. I had one of those indoor putting things once, but it was a mini version you kept around your toilet to use while sitting on the can.

It was a fun college apartment bathroom thing until I realized how disgusting and dirty it was.

Now, onto Shot Number Three:

Nothing like getting a good stretch in. A little band workout from the Juice. Gotta keep those forearms strong!

Shot Number Four:

O.J. is just polishing up the O.J. memorabilia that he definitely didn’t steal! Wow! Shiny!

Shot Number Five:

Wow! Look at those colored shorts! You can just hear them, “hey Twitter world, it’s yours truly!” Just like the videos!

Shot Number Six:

Backyard golf is the best. When I was in college I lived in a house with train tracks on the other side of my backyard so we used to get a bunch of range balls and just hit out over them tracks. What a time. Hit ’em straight, Juice!

Finally, Shot Number Seven:

The most relatable shot of all! Juice is ripping Jack straight out of the bottle during quarantine! What an awesome guy! Keep on keepin’ on, Juice!

In all seriousness, it is my literal dream that one day there is an entire generation that will see a picture of O.J. Simpson and say “hey that’s the guy from TikTok!” America is all about second chances and that right there is my dream for the future of this country. God Bless America.

Meet Jeff Lowe’s Security Guard – Craig Golias
Meet Jeff Lowe’s Security Guard – Craig Golias
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