NSFWBDs Analyze Ezekiel Elliott’s New Contract

Zeke gets paid, Jerry gets his Super Bowl contender team and now Jason Garrett gets to go out there and figure out a way to screw it up and leave Jerry without that cherished final Super Bowl to prove he was the great general manager people wouldn’t give he credit for. It’s the final piece to end training camp — nobody really cares about poor Melvin Gordon — and now the games can get started so these numbnuts on debate shows can talk about actual sports action.

While I’m on the subject, how do people sit and watch Get Up! or anything on FS1? I don’t get it. Five minutes of it and I am ready to a mass murderer to blow me away.

Now for why we’re here — the NSFWBDs instant analysis of Zeke’s new contract. There are some really good points brought up by the BDs today. One in particular is that the Cowboys are about to dump the biggest load of work on Zeke’s shoulders that you’ve ever seen. It’s going to be a one-way ticket to either a Super Bowl or the scrap heap for Zeke. The BDs know he’s looking at like four years of this production and he’ll be done. Maybe three seasons.

The big winner here: Dak. He’s going to dump it off to Zeke and let him get his head battered in. Meanwhile, Dak will make like $35 million a year, play until he’s like 40 because the Cowboys have trouble cutting loose stars and Zeke will be off having knee replacement somewhere.

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