Florida Woman Tries To Stuff RaceTrac Club Sandwich & More Down Her Yoga Pants

Pasco County Sheriff’s Office

I’m going to need a closed circuit video of Haley Maire Derise of Hudson, Florida tangling with store clerks at a RaceTrac convenience store over what she allegedly tried to put down her yoga pants and walk out. We’re talking a big time lunch down those yoga pants and I need video of the club stacker sandwich and all the fixins going down into the pants. This is one of those cases where I’m thinking of filing a FOIA request for that video, if police use it in the case, which I assume they will be doing.

From Patch.com:

An 18-year-old Hudson woman is accused of battering store clerks who tried to stop her after she stuffed a club stacker sandwich, sausage breakfast sandwich, can of Pringles and two Lunchables in her yoga pants.

Haley Marie Derise of Nava Street was arrested at the RaceTrac convenience store at 7329 State Road 52 in Bayonet Point and charged with battery and petit theft.

Pretty sure it’s supposed to be ‘petty’ theft, but I’m going to leave it as is. Not going to get all copy editor on these police reports. It’s nice enough of Patch to dig through police reports in the first place.

The total value of the items was $15.35. That’s actually not bad considering the fact that two Lunchables at a gas station can’t be cheap. That club stacker must not cost that much. Too bad they don’t have a RaceTrac around here or I’d have to try that club stacker. If it’s good enough to stick down your yoga pants to eat later, it’s good enough for me.

All this talk about MTOs has me missing the days when I lived in Pennsylvania and would crush Sheetz MTOs at work for lunch. A 6-in. grilled chicken club is still a great deal at $3.50. Starting to think about driving to eastern Ohio, where Sheetz start showing up, to get me one of those. Something like a 3 1/2 hour drive. Nbd.


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