Hello, friends. *extremely Jim Nance voice* I am Blakey Locks, the Degenerate Gambling Intern, and I will be your guide this fall. Every weekend I am going to traverse you through the trials and tribulations of betting your mortgage on a weekend of football. From the New England Patriots to the Northern Arizona Lumberjacks, I will give you the knowledge necessary to conquer your bookie and feed your children. We will win together, lose together and laugh together. Let’s ride.
Super Bowl Week
Super Bowl Week is officially upon us. Let’s just start out with this announcement: the rumors are true, your boy Blakey Locks will be traveling to Atlanta for a few days to get some #scoops and do some #media stuff. It’s going to be quite an interesting time and I will be documenting everything on Twitter @BlakeKrass and I’ll do a daily blog recapping everything. But I will not let the glitz and the glam of being around hundreds of other bloggers distract me from the fact that our goal is to make money. Today I’m just going to lay out a plan of attack to make money on Super Bowl Sunday and then later in the week I’ll have my guide with all the picks
Props
The Super Bowl is the best prop day of the year. You can bet on almost every event and every hypothetical that could happen throughout the day on Sunday. It’s important to remember that while there are a lot of funny props, you don’t have to bet them all. You can actually make money betting Super Bowl props. Of course, props are supposed to be fun, but there is nothing more fun than making money. So here are some props that I won’t bet, but are really phenomenal just by existing. (via Odds Shark).
This is one of the greatest and most ludicrous Super Bowl props ever pic.twitter.com/ups7KVxjuw
— Dave Loughran (@Loughy_D) January 26, 2019
I hope Ja is in attendance.
The over on Trump tweets is a LOCK.
Want to add some suspense to your commercial breaks? You’ll be waiting with bated breath for those Dilly Dilly motherfuckers to pop up on your screen and cash some tickets.
Now it’s good to have a good balance of player props, first TD props, and throw a couple of those dumb ones on there just for shits and gigs.
Betting Tips
- Bet some college basketball and NBA during the day to wet your beak early and stretch out your gambling muscles
- Give out one longshot prop tip to your friends you’re watching the game with. Tell them to just throw a few bucks on James Develin to score the first TD +3500 or something like that. Then you will all have something to cheer for together to start the night. If it hits you are a hero and if it doesn’t then it was still fun.
- Lock in all of the props you want to bet on by noon on Sunday. You are going to be drinking all day and having those props available to a drunk degenerate is dangerous. Lock all of your bets in early and then try to stay off the book unless you’re betting some live/2H action.
- Last tip- don’t take any of these tips too seriously. This is the last football game we can bet until August. Bet TOO much money, get TOO drunk, and eat TOO much buffalo chicken dip. It’s going to be a great day.
Like I said, this is just my intro to get you guys gassed up. Start to mentally prepare, follow me on Twitter for Super Bowl Week updates, and get ready for Super Bowl Betting Guide: Part Two where I will have far too many bets to take. Let’s get rich.
