ATTENTION: You Are NOT Living Rent Free in My Head

So today I was perusing some good ole fashioned #sports debates on Twitterdotcom. You had two sides chirping back and forth over some sort of nonsense and I was reasonably entertained. However, as the conversation continued it was clear that one side had won the debate. Or so I thought… The man I perceived as the loser of the fight came back with one final shot to try to win this spirited debate: “We’re obviously living rent-free in your head.” And let me tell you, he thought he had just bodied this guy. Well, I am here to announce that this is NOT a good, clever, SAVAGE, or any other such term, response.

I have obviously seen this said thousands of times recently, but today I hit my breaking point. This is always what happens with the Internet so I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am disappointed. “Rent-free” has become the new go-to expression for people who don’t know how to argue. For those even less skilled in the art of debate, they will respond “triggered” to the person who said “rent-free” and the two will go back and forth until one day the internet explodes.

DISCLAIMER: If you make the joke “looks like people who say rent-free are living rent-free in your head” or just say “triggered” in response to this blog then you are the least funny and original person on Twitter.

For me personally, I started seeing this as an epidemic during the Yankees-Red Sox series in the playoffs. The Red Sox obviously beat the Yankees and went on to win the World Series. After beating the Yankees, the Red Sox decided to play Frank Sinatra’s famed “New York, New York” to troll the Yankees and Aaron Judge who had played the song inside Fenway after winning one (1) game.

Now I realize Yankees fans are the lowest form of debaters as they are only programmed robots who say “27 rings” over and over and over again but even this was a low for them. After getting dominated by their archrivals in the playoffs who then danced on their grave to some Sinatra, they only had one thing to say:

#27ringsbro makes me want to vomit all over my computer.

But I could go on for days with every single “rent free” tweet from October but I’ll show some restraint. My point is, if your rival dominates you and then embarrasses you on a global stage it does not mean that you “live rent-free in their head.” It means they have emasculated you and are your daddy now, and all you can muster through the tears rolling down your face are the words “rent…..freee……..”

If you simply search “rent free” in Twitter you will see a Petri Dish of stupidity. This is from today, THREE MONTHS after the Red Sox beat the Yankees.

I know this is Yankees-Red Sox again but these guys were the first example I found and a perfect one at that. They are having one of the first rent-free’offs I’ve ever seen. Do the Red Sox shoving their championship in Yankees fans’ faces mean the Yankees are living rent-free in Red Sox fans’ heads or do Yankees fans defending themselves and talking about their 27 rings mean that Red Sox fans are living rent-free in Yankees fans heads? I know I am not nearly wise enough to get to the bottom of this one.

Now “rent-free” is not only reserved for the sports world. It has seeped into politics and is now being used to, as the kids say, “own the libs.”


Not only is Trump living rent-free in the libs’ heads but also in the heads of journalists who are paid money to cover him! Wow!

So let me get this straight? WaPo writers are paid money to cover politics and write articles on what the President is doing. WaPo writers write such articles and receive their due money. And that means the President is living rent-free in their heads? I obviously just don’t get the intricacies of this quick-witted argument.

So now that I have penned 700 words on how you all have rent-free beachfront space in my head, I will wrap this thing up and leave you with a quote from the greatest man who ever lived.

“‘Remember when’ is the lowest form of conversation.” -Tony Soprano

Never forget that, kids. Don’t dwell on the past. Focus on the future. Otherwise, I’ll be coming to collect my rent payments real soon.

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