Hello, friends. *extremely Jim Nance voice* I am Blakey Locks, the Degenerate Gambling Intern, and I will be your guide this fall. Every weekend I am going to traverse you through the trials and tribulations of betting your mortgage on a weekend of football. From the New England Patriots to the Northern Arizona Lumberjacks, I will give you the knowledge necessary to conquer your bookie and feed your children. We will win together, lose together and laugh together. Let’s ride.
College Football Week 13
I’ve been counting it down for weeks, but I am officially on full on suicide watch. It is our last full weekend of college football. We have championship weekend and bowl season which is obviously great, but this is our last Saturday of ignorantly betting the entire board. It is also Thanksgiving weekend which means you will be around family all weekend and you will need to escape to the TV to watch sports. Do NOT miss out on betting as many games as possible. From CFB, to the NFL, to Tiger vs. Phil you want as much action riding as possible this weekend to save you from the holiday. We have a few huge games for conference championship and playoff implications. Let’s get right into it.
Degenerate of the Week
This might be the greatest gambling event of all time https://t.co/Jd9Xa7pgu7
— Longshot Locks (@LongshotLocks) November 20, 2018
To nominate yourself or a friend for Degen of the Week, Tweet or DM submissions to me @BlakeKrass on Twitter.
Phil Mickelson. He has always been overshadowed by Tiger Woods on the golf course. But as far as being a gamlbing addict, Phil reigns supreme. Whether it be getting busted for insider trading, betting millions on golf matches, or putting random wagers on literally anything he can find, Phil might be the biggest (openly) degenerate athlete. He has his huge match on Friday against Tiger Woods where the winner nets $9 million. That’s why I’m taking this chance to honor Phil. He is going to put on an absolute show on Friday and show the world why he is such a legend. You can tell by how naturally he talks about this shit that he is a true gambling fanatic. I can’t wait to see Phil in full form on Friday. He’s gonna lose the $9 million match and somehow still come out clean because of all the side action he is going to swindle Tiger into. Let’s. Fucking. Go.
Girlfriend Game of the Week
My girlfriend watches almost no football. She knows nothing about any teams. Luckily gambling is all about raw instinct. It’s a gamble after all. Every week I am going to ask her out of the blue who is going to win a certain game. There’s a good chance these picks win at a higher percentage than mine. (4-1)
Another winner for the GGW last week. This is so god damn annoying. I might need to start using this woman to make all my gambling picks for me. I can’t tell you how demoralizing it is as a man who commits an absurd amount of time to studying, reading, and listening to everything I can about college football and just get smoked while the old lady is just throwing shit at the wall and going 4-1. But like I said before the first pick was ever made, gambling is all about raw instinct. The girl has a gift. This week we’re seeing who closes out their season strong in the SEC between LSU and A&M.
How could you argue with that confidence. Geaux Tigers.
You ready, Columbus?!
Next up, it's rivalry week and we're headed to THE GAME. pic.twitter.com/MZJGvhVAhn
— College GameDay (@CollegeGameDay) November 18, 2018
The fun is over. It’s time to get down to business. You naturally want to bet the games you’re going to watch. So, I have the “Mountains are Blue Ice Cold Locks” for the featured games of the weekend right here.
Michigan @ Ohio State (+4) o/u 56.5
— Michigan Football (@UMichFootball) November 18, 2018
This one is big time. Arguably the biggest rivalry in college football. Michigan is currently in the driver’s seat for the number four spot in the College Football Playoff. State Ohio is in absolute disarray and Urban Liar is one loss away from another fake heart attack. The winner is going to the Big Ten Championship game with a shot at the College Football Playoff on the line. It could not be a bigger game. Ohio State’s offense vs. Michigan’s defense. Shea Magic vs. maybe the worst secondary of all time. The honorable James Harbaugh vs. a man who covers up crimes against humanity. Good vs. Evil. It would be a fairy tale ending to the season for Michigan. Unfortunately, this is college football, not a fairy tale. Sometimes evil conquers good. State Ohio has looked dreadful recently, but they match up kinda well with Michigan. The CFP top four hasn’t changed in weeks. The NCAA does not want that. They need some sort of shake up. Evil conquers good on Saturday.
Some Things Are Bigger Than Sports But I Need to Start Buying Christmas Presents Soon Lock of the Year: State Ohio +4
Washington @ Washington State (-3) o/u 49.5
Chris Petersen on Mike Leach arriving with an In-N-Out burger and a milkshake a half-hour late to a Pac-12 coaches' meeting earlier this year: pic.twitter.com/s33Mwzfrjk
— Adam Jude (@A_Jude) November 19, 2018
Mike Leach is such a legend. He is the most relatable guy in all of college football. He makes me believe that I could coach a Power Five team to a 10 win season too. Such a guy’s guy. And his Wazzou squad playing out on the west coast has had them fly way under the radar. This team is one of the only 7 teams left with a legit shot at the playoffs. They need Michigan to drop to State Ohio and then all of the sudden it’s between them, Oklahoma, and State Ohio for that last spot assuming they all win out. This is also a game against their arch rival who has bullied them for years where the winner reaches the PAC 12 Championship Game. With so much on the line I love Wazzou. Leach just knows how to keep these guys relaxed and their QB Minshew just has that it factor about him.
Mike Leach In-n-Out Lock of the Week: Washington State -3
Oklahoma @ West Virginia (+1) o/u 83.5
I’m so devastated about my ‘Neers. I’ve been cheering hard for Coach Dana and Willy G all season. Unfortunately, their miracle playoff run was ended last weekend against OK State. However, their Big 12 Champions hopes are very much alive. It’s simple, win this one and they’re in. Meanwhile, Oklahoma has stayed afloat in some absolute shootout games and still have a shot at the playoff. If they win out and Michigan loses they might actually be the pick for that fourth seed. Basically, both teams have a ton to play for. Both offenses are electric and both defenses kinda stink. The key factors for me: WVU is at home on senior night and Oklahoma’s secondary is maybe worse than State Ohio’s which I said is the worst of all time. One more time boys. Go ‘Neers.
Country Roads is One of the Best Karaoke Songs of All Time and People Don’t Use It Enough Lock of the Millennium: West Virginia +1
P.S. An 84 point total? Sack up and take the over.
Utah State @ Boise State (-2.5) o/u 67.5
Congrats to Coach Yost for being named a Semi-Finalist for the @BroylesAward.
— USU Football (@USUFootball) November 20, 2018
Look at this fucking guy. Unreal. Wanna know how to become a top-25 team playing in the Mountain West? Hire this guy. What an electric factory. UCF should take notes. Utah State nearly upset Michigan State week one and since then they have won 10 games in a row. If they could have pulled that one off they would be a top 10 team right now. They are so fun to watch. Meanwhile, Boise State has resurrected their season and is home on the Smurf Turf for one more game. The winner of this one gets the privilege of taking on Fresno State in the Mountain West Championship Game which has actually been an awesome league to watch this year. Way more fun late night than the PAC-12 that’s for sure. It’s hard to bet against Boise State at home on the Smurf Turf. It’s one of those college football betting rules you never want to break. But this Utah State team has a special feel to them. And look at Coach Yost one more time. Guarantee he wears those shades at night in Boise. No shits to give.
Mormons Are People Too Lock of the Season: Utah State +2.5
This guide is meant to be fun, but if you came here for picks I will indulge you. Here are the locks of the week outside the Marquee Matchups.
Baylor +7 vs. Texas Tech
UVA -3.5 @ VT
UCF -14 @ USF
UCLA +6.5 vs. Stanford
UAB -2.5 vs. MTSU
Kentucky -16.5 @ Louisville
P.S. Once again, you can get all of my bets for the weekend by downloading my podcast here- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/longshot-locks-episode-3-college-football-week-13-mega/id1440550176?i=1000424302342&mt=2
Follow me and the podcast on Twitter here for live tweeting all weekend- @BlakeKrass @LongshotLocks
Let’s get rich, together.