Mike Wallace Will Receive A $585,000 Bonus For Not Being The Fattest Receiver In NFL History

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Boy, do I love me a good contractual weight incentive. Nothing gets the juices flowing like hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line at a weigh-in. You guys know the deal with these things. You saw it with Eddie Lacy, who brought in 50k every time he weighed in below 250 pounds. You see it with the big hogs on the line. You can’t have these guys becoming fat asses, so you throw a little bonus into the contract so they don’t eat China food every day in the off-season.

But this weight incentive is on another level. Mike Wallace needs to call his agent immediately and give him whatever raise he asks for. This is a real bonus in Mike Wallace’s contract, a guy who is listed at a very fit 200 pounds.

That’s almost SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS just for not being a fat ass. I’m actually pretty sure that Mike Wallace couldn’t gain 50 pounds to lose this bonus if he tried. He would need a nice shipment of HGH to do that.

I don’t have the exact numbers on this, but if he weighed in at over 250 pounds, he might be the fattest receiver in NFL history. So really, he got 585k just for not being the fattest guy to ever split out wide. For reference, the most physical receiver ever, Calvin Johnson, only weighed 235.

Once again, Mike Wallace’s agent deserves any raise he asks for.

 

BUSTEDCOVERAGE Writer
BUSTEDCOVERAGE Writer
Weekend editor based in Atlanta. Contact me: dan.crawford@teamcoed.com
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