Rachel Bush Married Jordan Poyer Today

It’s all over, guys. Rachel Bush is officially married to Bills safety Jordan Poyer. You’ll have to settle for living vicariously through her Snap and IG accounts because you’re never going to own a South Florida luxury pad on a canal, have a career in the NFL and look like Poyer.

From what I can tell — I swipe very fast on IG Story — it appears that the couple did a destination wedding and will now proceed to tear up some tropical island and stockpile dozens of possible IG uploads for use on a rainy day.

Even though this marriage stuff has you depressed, you can always go after Rachel’s sister, Jordan. She seems down for a good time and isn’t dating any NFL players that I can see.

Want to get Mr. & Mrs. Poyer a gift (looking at you, Bills fan)? Get over to the registry and drop a couple bucks on a guy who got you to the playoffs.

Rachel Bush/Instagram

The bachelorette party: