Philadelphia Police Will Reportedly Use Gear Oil On Light Poles

Philadelphia Police has reportedly settled on a lubricant they hope will deter mental Philadelphia Eagles fans from climbing poles. Not “ultra smooth” lube from the good people at PornHub, or Crisco grease… but gear oil.

The details from Fox 29:

Sources say police plan to use a form of gear oil instead of Crisco oil to grease poles along Broad Street and up in the Northeast for Sunday nights expected Eagles celebration.

Tom Flora says fans should be aware if you’re planning on wearing your favorite Birds jersey and scaling up a pole with this stuff on it. Well, good luck trying to clean your jersey.

We went to H & Z Laundry on the Boulevard where customers told FOX 29 not even the Senior Super Load washer set on heavy soil will get gear oil out.

We commend Philly Police for being so dedicated to solving this light pole safety issue, but all bets are off if the Eagles win it all on Sunday. Fans will be scaling light poles without a care in the world for a potentially annoying laundromat visit.

Their best bet to keep Eagles fans in check is probably a Patriots blowout, and no one wants that.