Oklahoma Man Sues Penal System Over 91-Hour Boner, Wants Enormous Settlement

Dustin John Lance claims the boner lasted at minimum 91 hours. An excruciating 91 hours. 91 hours of begging his boner to recede. Just wanting it to all end…the boner…just wanted it to go away. And now Lance wants $5 million out of an Oklahoma prison because of that 91-hour boner that came about after taking a boner pill given to him by another inmate.

This is legit. There’s a lawsuit document and everything.

From Tulsa World:

Dustin Lance alleges in his civil rights lawsuit that he suffered permanent injury after employees of the Pittsburg County jail ignored his pleas for medical care while he was suffering from a continuous erection.

Lance, in his petition initially filed Sept. 18 in Pittsburg County District Court, says his troubles began Dec. 15, 2016, when, while incarcerated in the county jail, he ingested a pill offered to him by another inmate.

Lance, in his petition, says he made jail personnel aware the next day that he was suffering “unbearable pain” as a result of his condition.

The lawsuit says jail personnel repeatedly mocked Lance while denying medical treatment until Dec. 19.

Lance, who was in jail for burglary and possession of controlled dangerous substances, claims he continually told staff about the boner that wouldn’t go away and they wouldn’t do anything to help him.

Look, this is why you shouldn’t be taking a boner pill in the pen. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times, prison boner pills are a disaster waiting to happen and Lance found out the hard way.

That must’ve been some sort of crazy Mexican Viagra that guy took:

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