Georgia Social Studies Teacher Arrested For Crushing Hundreds Of Nattys Under A Bridge

Henry Beasley is a social studies teacher at Lee County Middle School in the middle of nowhere Georgia and he likes Natty. He really…really…really likes Natty. How much Natty does Henry like? He likes it by the hundreds. I’m talking hundreds and hundreds.
And cops have finally busted Henry for crushing Nattys under a bridge in Lee County. And they have evidence photos. Hundreds and hundreds of crushed Natts. And the tall Nattys. Henry had a couple garage pops the other day, started a little fire and now here we are.
From WALB:

Deputies were called out to the Highway 32 East bridge on Monday after reports of smoke coming out from under the bridge. When they arrived, they found Henry Beasley drinking beer under the bridge with a fire lit.
A code enforcement official said they have been searching for the person that left an estimated three hundred beer cans under the bridge over a two month period.
“Each time we would come out here there were more and more of the same kind of beer cans, which was telling me that someone is frequent in the area. So, we were keeping an eye on the place and we eventually got a call to come down here,” said Jim Wright.

I’m going to take a stab at this story to try and predict what’s going on here.

  1. Henry’s wife has been bitching at him about drinking around the house
  2. Henry’s like, “screw it, I’ll find a quiet place to get hammered”
  3. Henry used to get hammered under bridges with his buddies back in high school
  4. He hates his job teaching worthless kids who don’t want to learn
  5. Saves his lunch money for Natty; easy to avoid questions from his wife
  6. Lies about having some sort of after-school responsibility, but he really goes and gets rocked
  7. Just wants to get rocked in peace

Henry’s clearly a guy’s guy who needs a drinking hideout. We’ve all been there. Need that special place. His mistake was going the burning tire route, but that’s what happens when you get hundreds deep with the Natty. You start doing dumb shit like back in college. It happens.
We’re recommending a slap on the wrist, a little community service and a fellow teacher give Henry a drinking hideout.

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