Poor Zach Crowe. His wife is tired of his Redskins ‘fanbulance’ sitting in the driveway and now he has to sell it, according to the Washington Post. That’s coming straight from Zach. Poor guy is 33 and already losing the one thing he loves about life. I can just tell how devastated he is from his quotes.
“She definitely wants it out of the driveway,” Crowe, 33, said Wednesday. “That’s the main reason I’m selling it for sure. I’ve mentioned that if I sell it, it could be a bad-luck charm like the Cubs and their goat story, and we’ll lose Kirk Cousins and all of a sudden go back to a losing franchise again, but hopefully that doesn’t happen. It breaks my heart to sell in the middle of a potential Super Bowl run here.”
Oh my god. I added bold so those words hopefully jump off the page. It tells the pain. It tells the end of Zach’s life. It tells the end of Zach feeling like a real man. It tells of Zach wrestling with what this means for the rest of his life. Folks, this might be the saddest thing I’ve read all year.
Think about your life and what makes you the happiest. Being with the boys being stupid at a bar before/after a football game? Going hunting? Trips to Vegas? Tailgating with guys you’ve known your whole life? Sitting back at a baseball game and slamming 10-12 beers because you can? Going to SEC games and looking at SEC dresses?
I probably nailed 90% of you with one of those happy moments.
The air has officially been deflated from Zach’s life and the realization that he can never go back is setting in.
“It’s been great,” Crowe said. “It really brings everyone together. Driving down the road, people are pulling up next to you, honking their horns, giving you the thumbs up on the highway. It can be hard changing lanes, but it’s been a ton of fun.”
Hey Zach, life is over. 33. You’re done. Enjoy driving the family van around town thinking about what used to be.
What you get:
Seats 6 to 8 comfortably.
Satellite Dish for TV viewing included