Buy This Cleveland Browns Tailgate Hearse — $2,500


Suffice it to say, Browns fans are kind of pumped up about Johnny Manziel’s preseason resurgence. Head coach Mike Pettine may not want to acknowledge the brewing quarterback controversy, but we all sure as hell see it. This is absolute heaven for Browns fans who want to see Johnny succeed, so there’s no better time than now to ride this wave of positivity to your own… tailgate hearse!

You can lay Josh McCown’s starting prospects to rest, get tanked and watch Johnny style all over weaklings on the field. Now’s the time to be alive, Browns fans!

Details from the seller:

I have for sale a 1969 Oldsmobile 98 Cotner Bevington Ambulance Hearse. It has the factory 455 big block Rocket motor. The motor is in need of a complete overhaul or another motor dropped in. Otherwise has lots of new parts and has been to every browns game for the past ten years. I’ve had my fun and it’s time to move onto another project vehicle. The car will be sold “as is” and includes 2750 watt Kenwood stereo system with clean sound. It comes with two new Optima yellow top batteries, new fuel pump, water pump, belts and hoses, electronic ignition, specified rebuilt Rochester quad jet carburetor, voltage regulator and newer carrier bearing, limo springs. 12 bolt read end and turbo 400 transmission in great condition with no leaks. The car is completely original with the exception of custom rear seat area to accommodate additional rear passengers and stereo system sub woofers. 2500 or best offer. Motivated to sell this week. No reasonable offers refused. Will assist with flatbed delivery.

Sounds like potential buyers need to get their affairs in order and make this guy a reasonable offer ASAP. He wants out, you (probably) want to take this thing to the home opener against the Titans — there’s no reason to drag this out. Offer $1,500 and be done with it.