Brandon Marshall Selling His 5-Star Resort Florida House – $4,495,000

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Ahhh, a beautiful resort in Florida. A beautiful pool. An outdoor paradise. A suspended fish tank. Outdoor party spots. One of the biggest houses you can buy on the athlete house market. Jets wide receiver Brandon Marshall wants to sell you that house in Southwest Ranches, Florida for the low price of $4,495,000. Does that seem high? You obviously haven’t taken a tour of the place. It’s worth every penny, but I’d still lowball him and see how desperate he is to sell.

According to his realtor:

A transitional/contemporary stunner with the finest finishes and craftsmanship in Landmark Ranch Estates. Features an HD home theatre, game room, office, gym, upstairs loft. Gorgeous downstairs master suite w/leather walls, Crestron smart-house system, incredible bar w/ suspended fish tank, Italian cabinetry with custom built-ins, incredible lighting fixtures. Resort-like exterior with covered terrace, summer kitchen pavilion, fire pit, free-form pool surrounded by palms, sport court, mosquito misters.

I’m telling you right now, some rich oil dude is going to snap up this place and just invite dozens of IG models to visit for photoshoots. Can’t really blame these rich guys. They pop a Viagra, get on IG and start hunting for chicks they want to buy. It’s a helluva world we live in.

Other highlights of Brandon Marshall’s massive mansion:

• 6 bedrooms, 7.5 bathrooms

• 11,877 sq. ft. of living space — good luck using all of that

• Seriously, the fish tank is insane…getting one of those for my place

• The theater is sweet, no clue why Marshall would want to sell a place with that

• 16710 Stratford Ct Southwest Ranches, FL 333315.2 miles to Whole Foods

24.5 miles to Tootsies

Mortgage: You’re talking about $17,000 or so a month…in other words you can’t afford it.