Remember the story from Monday how a Texas man (yes, I know he moved from Missouri several years ago) yelled “F the alligators” at 2:30 a.m. Friday morning, went swimming and was immediately killed by an alligator? Of course you do. It’s been one of the most-trafficked posts of the week.
So one of the locals in Orange, Texas named “Bear” took it upon himself to get revenge on the human-eating gator. Bear set a trap for the man-eater and then shot the gator in the head.
“He had to go,” “Bear” said. “That’s what happens when you kill someone.”
Game wardens cut open the animal Monday evening and found remains of Tommie Woodward’s body in the animal’s throat, said Precinct 4 Justice of the Peace, Rodney Price.
“Bear” and four other men were taking pictures of the alligator when game wardens arrived at Burkart’s Marina in this town east of Beaumont and the men left in a boat.
That’s right, remains from Tommie Woodward’s body were in the gator’s throat. That’s like some real horror movie shit right there.
So to recap:
• Man decides to go swimming at 2:30 a.m. in the bayou
• Man is instantly eaten by gator
• Locals figure a blood thirsty gator is going to strike again
• Suspected gator is shot in the head
• Game wardens find dudes body parts still in the gator
Look, it’s sad that a gator had to go, but this is eye for an eye territory. Texas death penalty. You take one of ours (no matter how stupid the redneck was), we take one of yours. Case closed.
RIP to Tommie Woodward