If you already didn’t know Jay Cutler was a giant whining pussy, you do now. This screencap comes from his bimbo wife Kristin Cavallari, who posted this on Instagram. The exchange is pretty simple: Kristin was out of town and left Jay with the kids. Those of you with kids know the deal, you just deal with whatever bullshit gets thrown your way. And bullshit is coming your way.
But there’s something weird about Jay’s bitching. It doesn’t actually sound like it’s that bad of a situation. One boy is in the crib and one refuses to eat. Both are dream scenarios. If one is in the crib, that means you’re not chasing his ass around the house or having to hold him. Perfect. I have a toddler — best case scenario is that a kid is in his crib. The little shits never take a nap, so imprison one for a little bit. It’s not a bad thing. They’ll eventually go to sleep.
So that leaves Jay with the Cam, who was born in May, not eating. Big fuckin’ deal. The kid will eat when he’s finally hungry. You turn on a basketball game, put the kid in some sort of swing and relax. I don’t know what the big deal is here. Eventually he’ll want some applesauce or a jar of some shit. I used to put my son in his car seat and place it next to me on my work desk. I could surf for Morning Screencaps and give him a bottle at the same time. You adjust on the fly.
Notice how she says “a thousand nannies.” So they have one nanny and she had the day off?
Women want to think that men can’t take care of the kids when they’re gone. The truth is that they’re worried we’ll do something cool with the kids when they’re gone. That’s when we take them to do cool shit: Hold Glocks at a gun store; Bass Pro to look at boats; Home Depot to jump on the riding lawn mowers.
As for the Cutlers, Jay’s just a giant pussy. All hell hasn’t broken loose until one of the kids falls off one of the boats at Bass Pro and you need to get to the hospital ASAP.
As big of a pussy off the field as on:
