Porn Star Florida State Fan Mia Khalifa Analyzes ESPN College Football Analysts


 
Porn star Florida State fan Mia Khalifa made her Busted Coverage debut last week to opine on Paul Finebaum and Kirk Herbstreit, whom she said she’d have sex with. It was one of the better debuts in BC history as Mia came out swinging on what she perceives to be an SEC bias from the World Wide Leader.
The Bang Bros. newcomer is starting to gain quite a large following in the college football world because she actually cares about the sport and can talk football. This is not an act.
It made perfect sense to me to turn the tables on ESPN analysts and have @miakhalifa do some analyzing and grading.

 

Danny Kanell   |  5-star analyst

He’s got a great head of hair and looks like he’s laid it down good on a couple sorority girls in his prime. He’s the quintessential Florida boy, bright smile, red face from constant exposure to the sun, and a “you can’t arrest me, my father is a lawyer”… swagger to him.
Verdict: Yes, I would have sex with him on camera, but Bobby Bowden has to be the director saying sleazy shit to us the whole time.

Jesse Palmer   |   3-star analyst

Devastatingly handsome, I forgive him for choosing UF because he’s Canadian and doesn’t know any better, but his slight bias makes my non existent gag reflux question itself.

Verdict: Yes, (I’d have sex with him) but my face has to be blurred out.

Chris Fowler   |   2.5-star analyst

He’s ESPN’s George Stephanopoulos looks-wise, but there’s something about him that says “I will hit on you shamelessly at the Christmas party when your husband isn’t looking then pretend it didn’t happen when you reject me.”

Verdict: No (sex), because his hairpiece gives me the creeps.

 

David Pollock   |   2-star analyst

He looks like Jesse Palmer’s friend who’s always asking “so where the girls at?” He peaked in college and now he’s trying to hold onto his prime for dear life.

Verdict: No (sex), because desperation smells worse than beer sweats.

 

Lee Corso   |   3.5-star analyst

His smile lights up a hungover Saturday morning and makes me “GET UP WITH GAMEDAY” but I’m not sure if he can still get it up without putting a mascots head on himself.

Verdict: Yes, I’d have sex with him because I like older men, but I have a feeling that he will ask for Osceola’s headpiece while we film.

Emailer: NFL Hall of Famer Broke Up With Me Via Text
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