Bills Kicker Dan Carpenter Is Unloading His House, Grotto Tub – $1.3 million

The greatest job on the planet is NFL punter. The next best job is NFL kicker. It’s so easy even soccer players can do it, although to be fair soccer players are some of the world’s finest female athletes. And NFL kickers make bank. Just look at this Florida pad that former Dolphins and current Bills kicker Dan Carpenter wants to sell for $1,299,000. 5 bedrooms. 6 baths. All the amenities you could want, including a custom pool and spa for parties with the ladies of South Beach.
According to the realtor:

Regency built custom home on beautiful street with all new homes. An open floor plan with triple split bedroom plan with separate office next to master bedroom. Italian marble throughout common area. Gourmet kitchen with great snack bar overlooking family room. Stainless steel appliances, wood cabinets and granite countertops. Master bedroom is huge with spa-like bath and big walk in closets. Pool is custom with spa features, fun for kids.

As if the house itself weren’t enough, it’s also in a great location — just a stone’s throw from popular shopping destinations like Publix, Jared the Galleria of Jewelry, Radio Shack, Sam’s Club, and Nine Lives Cat Hospital.  There are also great restaurants nearby like Applebee’s, TGI Fridays, Chili’s, and Chic-fil-A.  And the night life is out of this world, as Carp’s house is just miles away from Tootsie’s Cabaret, the finest adult night club in south Florida.
Mortgage: You’re looking at $5,000 a month before taxes & a pool guy to keep that grotto clean.

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