Buy Mickey Mantle’s Driver’s License For $500,000!

Fans taking food out of their kids mouths to spend it their passed sports idols’ memorabilia always struck me as exceptionally macabre. That money could have been better invested, I don’t know, in the athlete’s foundation or favorite charity, but instead, fans go on and waste hundreds of thousands of dollars on whatever’s left of that person’s last vestiges on Earth for the sake of “fan loyalty.”

Hey, it’s a free country.

For the low, low piece of half a million American dollars, you could be the proud owner of former Yankee great and legendary alcoholic Mickey Mantle’s drivers license!

The artifact’s only notable quality is that it remained pristine during Mantle’s time. In all of the Hall of Famer’s decades of drunken improprieties, he never once got caught behind the wheel on the sauce.

Either this eBay seller first commandeered Mantle’s ID on the cheap or has a sick sense of irony. mike1053 is planning on taking home $500K on an expired driver’s license, which was reportedly the same amount Mantle’s family settled out of court with his former agent back in the 90s for over the sale of his ENTIRE possessions. 20 year inflation is a sumbitch

I’m more intrigued by mike1053’s other item for auction. He’s selling one of Derek Jeter’s half-drank water bottle’s for $995.00. The five extra bones would have been excessive.

I guess I can’t get too worked up over a man trying to make a legal buck. At least dude isn’t like like Rob Corddry in Semi-Pro.