6 X $22,000,000 + one season at $23,000,000 = $155,000,000. That’s what the Yankees owe Masahiro Tanaka over the next seven years including this season, which has been halted via an elbow injury that will now require a six-week rehab. Doctors seem to think the rehab will help Tanaka avoid Tommy John surgery.
And guess who is ready to help Tanaka with that rehab. You guessed right — the Rick’s Cabaret girls. They even released a statement to the media (this probably needs to be translated into Japanese).
“I love Tanaka,” proclaimed Emma, a busty blonde beauty who dances at the famous Rick’s Cabaret gentlemen’s club in New York City. “He is the Yankees only hope and we need him to get well soon.”
Tanaka was originally projected to be out six weeks, but now there is doubt that he will return this season.
“I’m his biggest fan and I will help him with his rehab,” promised the sexy stripper. “A lot of the Rick’s Cabaret Girls are big Yankee fans too–maybe he can rehab here at the club. I know we can make him feel much better, haha!”
Rick’s Cabaret NYC Girl Paige also offered her services. “You need to sit in our super comfortable VIP lounge, and watch me and dozens of the other hot Rick’s Girls take off their clothes. It will make you happy and help speed up your recovery–I think.”
Rick’s Cabaret is located across the street from the Empire State Building and just one block from Madison Square Garden. The club’s main cabaret is on the first floor, its upscale Zagat-rated steakhouse and balcony seating are on the second floor, and the VIP area with plush champagne suites are on the third floor, topped off by a smoking deck on the roof.
I’d take this option over rehabbing in Scranton/Wilkes-Barre. Have you ever been to Scranton/Wilkes-Barre? Both are dumps. They’re pretty much miniature versions of the Bronx.
Anyway, the play here for Tanaka, 25, seems to be a regimen of visiting Rick’s at least 2-3 times a week. Get a good meal, relax in the dining room while Emma eases his mind with wild baseball fantasies that are relayed through Tanaka’s translator. Awkward? Sure, but this is rehab in a foreign land. Tanaka finishes dinner, heads downstairs to the main club, slides into his seat in the VIP section. His trainer calls over a massage girl. Emma assumes her position. The Yankees are on YES. Drinks are ordered.
Two hours later the guy is one day closer to actually earning his Yankees paycheck.