From Blue Jays Baby:
You know what pisses me off more than anything in the world? That mom yanked me by the bib to wake me up for Sportsnet’s camera. That’s some bullshit right there. My ass is good all day long, just shitting, eating quietly and sleeping like a perfect little boy. Then you drag my ass to a worthless July baseball game that we could be watching at home on the couch and you won’t let my ass sleep. Bullshit. Plus, I have to sit hear and listen to my sister bitch about wanting a hot dog. I’m tired of it.
Someone is going to pay for this bullshit.
You think it’s funny now. Wait until my ass starts screaming at 2 a.m. I don’t have to go to work in the morning. Your ass does. In fact, I’m going to get up, hit a boob, take a shit and go back to sleep for another 2-3 hours before I get up for more boob, a little tummy time and another shit before taking my afternoon nap.
Next time you’ll think twice before waking my ass up when the Red Sox have a 14-1 just so some mothers at home can gush over my beauty.