Happy 25th birthday to this giant meatball. The big 2-5. The birthday where life is about to head downhill really fast. It’s the agewhere Gronk should, at all costs, avoid getting serious with a girlfriend because all her friends are getting married and she’ll try to domesticate the Gronk. She’ll tell him it’s a good idea to settle down and start hanging out on weekends with married couples. These are threats that Gronk should fear.
This is a tedious time.
Gronk can’t slay the coeds like he’s 21, but he still can’t be civilized to the point where he loses the Gronk qualities we’ve come to enjoy. There is still time to guzzle beer bongs and rage with college sophomores, but he’s about a year out from that ending.
This is a transition period.
He tried to do the house ownership thing last year and that didn’t last long. He put the place on the market just a few months after buying it. He spent the offseason raging in Miami with 20-somethings. He filmed a part for the upcoming Entourage movie. He yanked on his last public beer bong as a 24 year old at a Kansas State tailgate.
There are signs of Gronk getting older (has only played in 18 games over two seasons), but he’s doing his best to remain the hero we all love and know.
Long live Gronk.