I Went To Donald Trump's Toledo Rally & It Wasn't As Crazy As I Hoped


I told Mrs. BC late Wednesday afternoon that I got a ticket to the Donald Trump rally in Toledo and was headed down. She seemed confused. I totally understood her confusion. It’s July. I’ve been complaining about working too many hours. It was a natural night off from the grind. Why would a fat, balding, aging, sports blogger gossip hound want to venture into a Trump rally?
Because I need freak shows to fuel my being. I need weirdos to give me energy. I need outlets when GameDay & football drunks are still five weeks away. I go to Cedar Point to people watch. I go to the zoo and look for ridiculous sports jerseys, preferably 69 jerseys while pushing a stroller. That would be a home run.
So I headed into the big city to people watch. The $20 parking lots were full so I settled on the $10 lot. Would’ve been $20 to take Uber roundtrip so I made out.

Observations from the Trump rally:

• So much anger. I don’t even know what all these people were angry about because it looked like they were well fed, had nice clothes and drove nice cars.
• Everyone is a politician or got straight A’s in high school government classes; I’ve never met so many people who went into Poly Sci in college. Here I thought this shit was completely boring. Not to these people. They seem to study this shit on a nightly basis – after putting in a full day of work.
• Soft pretzel was $3.50. Not bad.
• Trump bros try to out Trump bro each other with Trump bro attire; We get it, you love the flag. The Stars & Stripes suit jacket isn’t getting you a bigger tax cut.

• That had to be the longest political rally prayer I’ve ever heard
• You have the prayer, the Pledge, the National Anthem and there might’ve been a moment of silence in there too.
• A Kenny Chesney looking dude in a sleeveless shirt passionately sang the Anthem

• Toledo’s shirt game wasn’t that impressive. Yeah, there was the ‘Killary’ but not much else.


• Trump was 40 minutes late. His fans started the wave to pass the time.


• Eric Trump gives the same 5 lines about his dad. We get it, he’s great. Mix it up a little bit, bro.
• Only saw 1 guy get kicked out
• Trump read Oscar Brown Jr.’s “The Snake” poem
• No beer sales; the arena could’ve made a killing on $6 drafts; these people were thirsty.
• I left early. Trump kept rambling and didn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, but I’d had enough. I had to get up this morning to work.

Overall rally grade: B-

Definitely not enough weirdos. This is Ohio. There weren’t nearly enough crazy shirts and they really need to let people in with their GameDay signs.

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