Fox Philly Eagles Analyst Says Eagles Need To Stop Banging Until They Start Winning

The Eagles have lost two in a row and three of their last four and it has people puzzled as to what the problem might be with the Super Bowl champions. Fox 29 Philly Eagles analyst Garry Cobb, a former Eagles linebacker, thinks he has a solution to the situation. He told the Fox 29 morning team that the Eagles need to be cut off from banging until they start winning again.
That’s right, Garry is calling on a poon cease & desist for the entire roster. It’s a bold call, but Garry seems to be all-in with his proclamation. “I think they need to go on a fast,” Cobb told the morning show crew. “The boys need to be cut off.”
Cobb added, “It fogs up your mind.”
The theory that sex turns athletes into underperforming athletes continues to be debunked by the scientists who study this stuff. Let’s go to Muscle & Fitness for some scientific talk on the subject.

“Abstaining from sexual activity before athletic competition is a controversial topic in the world of sport,” lead study author Laura Stefani said in a press releaseOpens a New Window.. But she notes: “We show no robust scientific evidence to indicate that sexual activity has a negative effect upon athletic results.”
One study observed former female athletes; they found their levels of strengthdidn’t differ whether or not they had sex the night before an event. Another body of research discovered a beneficial effect sex had on marathonrunners’ performance.

Now for the moneyshot…

“We clearly show that this topic has not been well investigated and only anecdotal stories have been reported,” Stefani adds. “In fact, unless it takes place less than two hours before, the evidence actually suggests sexual activity may have a beneficial effect on sports performance.”

Ahh, so maybe Garry needs to hear this news. Maybe the Eagles need to start banging MORE than they’re currently banging. Maybe Doug needs to tell his defense to go on a bang spree. Just hooking up like crazy with IGers looking to bang bang bang.

Virginia Union Beat Lincoln University 90-0 On Saturday
Virginia Union Beat Lincoln University 90-0 On Saturday
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