Hey NASCAR…Get Angélique Detavernier Into A Car Immediately

Have you been paying attention to NASCAR? Didn’t think so. I did see a video that I think was from Samantha Busch from last week at Pocono and the stands were 2/3 empty. It’s like watching your grandma die. She was in the prime of her life 15-20 years ago, but age caught up to her and now she’s just sucking down that oxygen that keeps being pumped in via a plastic tube, but the lungs aren’t working very well.

The France family wants out. There’s zero buzz about races. The racing for the most part is terrible. The drivers are pretty much clones of each other. The rednecks who used to populate the infields now just take their trailers to campgrounds and smash canned beer. Danica’s gone. NASCAR tried to force a Mexican driver into the mix to get Mexican viewers. Then they made sure to go nuts turning Bubba Wallace into the next diversity hero instead of just letting the dude get some races under him before forcing him down our throats.

So it’s time for me to give NASCAR and its teams some advice. Get Angelique Detavernier into a race car. I’m talking dimes in cars and I don’t care if they finish dead last. In fact, NASCAR should have 5 smokeshows per race. Smokeshows battling smokeshows. Smokeshows tradin’ paint. Smokeshows running Kyle Busch into the wall.

NASCAR has been so hell bent on this diversity thing because they know the good ol boys who used to watch are drying up. NASCAR needs new sponsorship money so they went diversity and it’s failing. You want money, viewers and new sponsors? DRAMA, you fools. It’s that easy. I want Angelique in a top 10 car battling out some other IG racing model for the lead. Guys would drop what they’re doing. They didn’t like Danica because she was such a pain in the ass. Constantly bitching about something or how someone wrecked her in the middle of the pack.

I want Angelique forming a New World Order with one other IG model and some badass Kenny Rodgers Six Pack crossed with a John C. Reilly redneck who drops f-bombs and doesn’t give a shitt if a sponsor drops out.

Anyway, here’s Angelique’s bio: 

• Audi R8 racer

• Belgian

• Speaks four languages

• Can play the piano

That’s all you need to know. Your move, NASCAR. Enough of these robotic white guys you keep trotting out there.