The Danica Patrick-Aaron Rodgers Relationship Has Reached An Absurd Point

FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, FAKE!

IT’S ALL FAAAAAKKKKKEEEE. DANICA PATRICK NEEDED A HUGE NAME FAKE BOYFRIEND TO HELP EARN A BUNCH OF TV TIME FOR GODADDY SO SHE WENT OUT AND GOT AARON RODGERS. DONT BOTHER TELLING ME I’M WRONG.

THE KISS IS FAKE. LOOK AT HIS HANDS….FAKE, FAKE, FAKE. I’VE SEEN PEOPLE KISS THEIR DOGS WITH MORE EMOTION THAN THIS.

The good news today is that Danica Patrick’s NASCAR career ended on lap 102 of today’s Daytona thanks to a huge crash at the front of the race. The GoDaddy car was smashed, she was sent to the infield care center and sent home on her private jet.

Now comes the push towards the Indy 500 and the real end to Danica’s career. That’s going to be like a month of promotion. I smell a guest spot on Good Morning America (ABC has the Indy 500 broadcast), heavy ESPN coverage (probably some sort of documentary-style feature) and appearances on Jimmy Kimmel.

And then the news will break that Rodgers is going to concentrate on his football career. Danica will go back to Ricky Stenhouse and become a NASCAR girlfriend who gets some sort of crossover broadcasting career that combines racing and pop culture. Maybe a show on FS1.

This is all too easy to predict.

Another BIG one takes out Danica Patrick, Brad Keselowski, and Chase Elliott, among others. #DAYTONA500 https://t.co/OnbXzk5Ooj

— FOX Sports (@FOXSports) February 18, 2018