Oh, hey Britt McHenry, live from Clearwater and the Phillies training facility. Looks like a lovely day in warm Florida.
I went out for lunch today and had to get gas. So I pull in, get out, go through the routine and start the pump. There’s snow blowing sideways into my face so I turn my back to the blowing snow. Now there’s a negative wind chill hitting me in the back, making my body go numb. Of course you’re wondering why I wouldn’t just get in the car and get warm. I understand that thought process. I do. I also haven’t spent more than 30 minutes outside a structure since Saturday. I’m losing my goddamn mind here.
I figured standing in the snow for 2-3 minutes wouldn’t be a big deal.
Wrong. It sucked. Bad. I finished up, hit the “no” receipt option and bolted for the warm car. I’ve now spent like 32 minutes outside this week. Inmates get more outside time than I’m getting right now. All of this means that I’m getting payback this summer. I’m taking up golf again. And I’m going to leave my desk at least once a week — during the day, dammit — and playing golf. Just get outside and breath some air. Remember what it’s like to be human and see other humans.
So go about your day Britt McHenry. I’m $400 or so away from jumping on a plane to Tampa, getting a rental car and finding some old woman that needs a companion for four weeks. At this point I’m desperate.
By the way, McHenry says that’s a Lilly Pulitzer dress. Great choice. Absolutely great dress. In fact, I haven’t seen a woman in the flesh wearing anything like that since September. I even went to the Bama-Ole Miss game figuring there would be sundresses slapping me in the face. Wrong. It was cold.
This winter needs to end fast or I’m about to blow all the money I have in the bank on a new life in Florida.