The brilliant business owners of Sheri’s Ranch brothel in Nevada wasted little time grabbing some free advertising last night by offering Warren Sapp a “free session,” according to TMZ. The legal brothel has been on a crusade over the last week or so trying to remind professional athletes that they need to visit for the legal action they need. Sheri’s Ranch is even blogging about Greg Anthony and Sapp’s prostitution busts and how all of this could’ve been prevented if they would just take care of business at a legal joint.
Thankfully, several informed athletes and sports professionals do the right thing and enjoy their dalliances at Sheri’s Ranch, where a celebrity’s privacy, reputation, and health are protected.
In an attempt to alleviate an impending epidemic of athletes losing everything because of a tryst with an illegal prostitute, the justified Jezebels of Sheri’s Ranch are willing to offer consultation services, for a relatively small fee, to NBA, NFL, and MLB franchises, and TV networks that employ former athletes. In these sessions the harlots will educate the sports world on the benefits of visiting a legal Nevada brothel, including but not limited to:
- No risk of catching an STD. Legal prostitutes are tested weekly for sexually transmitted diseases. No customer of Sheri’s Ranch has ever contracted an STD or HIV as a result of an encounter with one of our courtesans.
You get to keep your job, marriage, reputation, legacy, etc. Legal brothels respect your privacy. No legal brothel has ever outed or exposed a patron as a consumer of prostitution – and since these brothels are legal, there is a 0% chance of getting busted by law enforcement.
That’s a brilliant angle. These franchises make their employees sit through all sorts of useless meetings about personal conduct. Why not hire the ladies to go over the benefits of hopping on a plane to a legal brothel. Brilliant move.
Look, we all know that the big issue here is that these guys are always on the road and it becomes lonely for them. One thing leads to another and they’re looking on Backpage.com for a piece of tail. The key for Sapp and Greg might be to get so much tail at Sheri’s that they’re exhausted for a month or two before they can book another trip.