Barry Bonds Helping Alex Rodriguez With His Hitting

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Get pumped, Yankees fans. Sure you’re all a little down because Derek Jeter won’t be taking the field at Yankee Stadium in 2015, but you know who is? NUMBUH 13… Alex Rodriguez!

People, however, are tempering their expectations for the return of the 39-year-old slugger. General manager Brian Cashman himself has no idea what he’s going to get out of Rodriguez, telling the Associated Press (via ESPN) in mid-December:

I can’t expect Alex to be anything,” Cashman said during a telephone interview with The Associated Press. “I’ve got to think the worst and hope for the best. Even before the suspension, he wasn’t the same player at third base on the defensive or offensive side. And that was before the suspension.

Get real, Cashmoney. You know A-Rod is out somewhere training hard for his glorious return to the baseball community after a season-long doping suspension. It just wouldn’t be Alex if he didn’t shove his smug mug in the faces of fans everywhere. That’s why he’s in California working on his swing with Barry Bonds—for real:

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Queue the steroid injection jokes in 3, 2, 1…

Oh, they’ve also been doing breakfast together so Alex can update Barry on his celebrity sex conquests.

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Alex is a sneaky one. He obviously thought not being in any pictures with one of the biggest roiders of all time would get him out of dodge from the media. Luckily, ordinary folks wig out when they see famous people and immediately go to social media to let us all in on what’s going down.