Aaron Rodgers Is Killing Olivia Munn’s Sex Life

 

Olivia Munn revealed some sex-with-Aaron-Rodgers details last night on Andy Cohen’s Bravo show. Let’s just say it doesn’t sound like Olivia is getting enough sex from MVP.

Cohen: Do you have sex on game days?
Munn: No we don’t, not on game day. There’s not a rule, but…it just doesn’t happen because there’s other things to focus on.

Let’s not forget that players are sequestered in team hotels where they’re held like caged beasts who don’t get sex because it would leave them exhausted and less beast-like. Plato wrote about this scenario way back in 444 B.C. That guy knew way back then that sex will leave you sluggish and wanting to eat pizza.

So we shouldn’t be worried that Munn isn’t getting the tip BEFORE games.

Here is where we should be worried for Olivia.

Cohen: Do you have sex AFTER the game?

Munn: Depends on how late the game is.

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! RED FLAGS! NOT GOOD! 

The Packers are 10-3 and haven’t lost at home. Where would sex most likely take place after a game? At Rodgers’ house. Depends on how late the game is? Is Rodgers kidding me? You’re 7-0 at home. You have nothing but celebrating to do after home games. You have barely been hit this year so you can’t claim injuries for why Munn isn’t getting the sex. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH THIS RELATIONSHIP?

Think about the first year of a relationship. Sex ALL THE TIME. You have sex at lunch because you can. You wake up at 2 a.m. and have sex. You have morning sex. You have post-dinner sex. Rodgers really wants to claim that it’s too late after a game to have sex? RED FLAGS!

Then Munn goes on to say there are no rules about the sex. “It just doesn’t happen,” she adds.

MASSIVE RED FLAGS! I CAN’T TELL YOU HOW MANY RED FLAGS JUST WENT UP.

Look, I understand Aaron Rodgers is 31. Olivia is 34. That is the sex wheelhouse age. There should be no denying postgame sex to Olivia Munn. In fact, that should be the first thing you have on your mind after a game. Not food. Not that you need to get home to let the dog out to drop a deuce. You should be pulling over your SUV and unloading on Olivia Munn. We’re not talking some random jersey chaser that’s just happy to be along for the ride. You have Olivia Munn in your SUV. You have one life to live. You have to start living it.

Something might be wrong with Aaron Rodgers. Is he actually gay?

 

 

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