Porn Star Sadie Santana Will ‘Blow’ Entire Lakers Team If They Get 47 Wins

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Sadie Santana 7

 

Taking a modified page from the Sara Jay-Angelina Castro blowjob playbook, fellow adult film star Sadie Santana has offered to blow the members of the “Los Angeles Lakers Live” team. Only one catch—the purple and gold have to Satanically curse the other 29 teams and win 47 games.

SadieTweet

Now first off, it is definitely worth mentioning that Santana seems to have presented the offer to a random guy running an unofficial Lakers breaking news Twitter feed. Who knows if that was by design, but if she were gunning for the actual Lakers pregame team, the guys on the receiving end would be Robert Horry, James Worthy, and a couple other no name talking heads. “Big Shot” Horry receiving head from one of the stars of 2013’s classic hit, Sloppy Cocksuckers, just makes so much more sense.

And as far as 47 wins go, holy shit. 47 wins!?!?! 47 wins is like the mandatory win tally for a good team trying to make the eight-seed in the Western Conference. Even prime Kobe Bryant wouldn’t be able to carry this piece-of-shit, lottery bound team. We’d have better odds betting on a Phil Jackson-Jeanie Buss-Kobe three-way sex tape leaking than this eyesore of a roster winning 20 games, let alone 47.

 

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