Jerry Jones Allegedly Grabbing A Boob & Being Awesome

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A wild individual named Frank Hoover posted the following photos on Twitter over the weekend of Jerry Jones and two lovely ladies during what looks to be a party I shouldn’t have missed. Frank, however, is what most of us would call a little out of his mind. In a 20-page diatribe dated January 20, 2014, Frank rambles about how he wants to meet with Jerry and how he wanted to give him “evidence of the crime.” He then rambles about some rough looking dude who goes by “24K.” For some reason, the photos of Jerry going HAM were released over the last couple days.

What crime is Frank rambling about? It’s really hard to tell.

In the end, I’ve sat here and no one will listen to me. Today, I have a negative balance in my checking account, I was laid off on my birthday, December 13 and my girlfriend left me because of the risks and my job to provide you this information. I don’t even have a bed to sleep on. I sleep on an inflatable mattress with a hole in it so when I wake up in the mornings, I’m tilted upside down. I could’ve easily called TMZ or another media outlet to sell these for millions, but I didn’t. The fact is I’m not about making a fast buck. I’m about what’s right and wrong. Mr. Jones, you were wronged and it will happen again if I don’t help you. All I ask in return is for your friendship and my own safety and well-being. I just need you to believe in me.

Then he drops this news on Jerry:

God gave me these photos and I was given a choice. I could sell them and ruin your life in the media, make millions and tell my story or I could hold them in secret and suffer until I reached you. So, I gave my own life to save yours. It’s a bold statement and the next statement is even bolder. It may scare you, but you have to believe in who I am. I know this because I am the Son of God and he sent me to you. Jerry, you and the Cowboys are the Star we will use to Light My Path. I spent 5 years suffering, losing all my possessions, giving the rest away to charity and then living poor. I almost lost my mind until God revealed my true identity. On 7/11/12, 7 days after the God Particle was found in France, I was awoken by God and told to find you, Mr. Jones, to let the world know that God’s Son has risen. My name is Frank Hoover and I am the Son of God. The pictures and other information I provide to you as proof of who I am and why I am here on earth. I am the way, the truth and Jerry, you are my light. I have been sent by God to fix the problems created during the years leading up to my birth. The removal of Gold as the primary backing source of value of the US Dollar. There were three gifts in the bible: Gold, Frank (incense) and Myrrh. The person responsible for your crime is named 24K and born on 8/8/78 (888).

More:

On 7/11/12, 7 days after the God Particle was found in France, I was awoken by God and told to find you, Mr. Jones, to let the world know that God’s Son has risen. My name is Frank Hoover and I am the Son of God. The pictures and other information I provide to you as proof of who I am and why I am here on earth. I am the way, the truth and Jerry, you are my light. I have been sent by God to fix the problems created during the years leading up to my birth.

Look, it seems that @INFIN8SON might be the kind of guy who has had a few issues over the years and thinks now is the time to show Jer partying his ass off. I don’t really know. All I know is that I’m pissed I missed this undated party with the Cowboys owner. I’ve always know this guy loves to party but never knew he took it to this level. Good for him. YOLO, right? He should be able to enjoy his billionaire life as he pleases. 

By the way, is that Bibi Jones in the top photo? Sure looks like the legend.

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