Disclaimer: I’m not a political kook like you see on Facebook. I don’t rant about the government “taking our guns,” or that we must “close our borders before ISIS crosses the Rio.”
I recently spent 30 minutes on hold with the IRS waiting to pay a $4,000 tax bill. That big tax bill is a long story, but I was ready to pay the entire bill. Take my card information and the money is all yours. Take it to pay for whatever you’d like. Pet projects? Fuck it, have at it.
Finally, a lady answered. She wanted me to answer what felt like 20 questions. These were the same questions I’ve been asked by the IRS on a few occasions while dealing with this old tax bill over the last six months. By the fifth question I interrupted the IRS agent and said I just wanted to pay her the $4,000. I tried to offer her the money. Take it. “I’ve answered your questions before,” I said. Isn’t there a file that has the answers? Has to be.
She insisted on asking the remaining questions. I answered. Then she was finished. I said, again, that I wanted to pay the bill and go about my life. That’s when the agent told me that she couldn’t take my card information, that I’d have to call a third party to complete the transaction. She would, however, mark down on my record that I was going to call the third party to pay the $4,000.
In all, I spent approximately 45 fucking minutes on the phone and couldn’t give my money to the government. I eventually paid the bill through the third-party agency after getting jacked around on their phone line by some automated system that was complete shit. That’s my recent experience with the government. It was layered government that is complete garbage.
So imagine how I felt Wednesday when I heard that members of Congress had taken the time to get involved in the Ray Rice situation. They took the time to author a letter to Roger Goodell demanding “the highest level of transparency” when it comes to how the league investigated Rice. The letter was constructed while Obama was preparing to take the country to war with pieces of shit who have been fighting over a desert forever and aren’t going to stop fighting over that desert.
Here are the assholes who put their names on the letter:
Rep. John Conyers Jr. (Mich.), House Judiciary Committee Ranking Member
Rep. Jerrold Nadler (N.Y.)
Rep. Luis Gutierrez (Ill.)
Rep. Zoe Lofgren (Calif.)
Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (Texas)
Rep. Cedric L. Richmond (La.)
Rep. Henry C. “Hank” Johnson Jr. (Ga.)
Rep. Steve Cohen (Tenn.)
Rep. Judy Chu (Calif.)
Rep. Karen Bass (Calif.)
Rep. Suzan K. DelBene (Wash.)
Rep. Hakeem Jeffries (N.Y.)
All Democrats, if you care about keeping score. I could care less. Those are the 12 people who are paid BY US to govern and they’re worried about how Roger Goodell investigated Ray Rice.
Get. The. Fuck. Outta. Here.
We are about to spend billions on another desert police mission and these scumbags are worried about how Goodell might’ve fucked up an investigation into an NFL employee who was never booked by the Atlantic City police department with knocking out his wife. (Yes, Rice was indicted on a felony aggravated assault charge but was quickly moved into a diversion program to avoid jail time.)
Yet, sensing a chance to attach their names to something that’s politically good for them, these assholes waste our tax dollars worrying about how Goodell investigated Rice.
Thus for example, while we understand that you have stated in an interview yesterday on behalf of the NFL that, “We assumed that there was a video, we asked for the video, we asked for anything that was pertinent, but we were never granted that opportunity,” to our knowledge the public has not been informed as to specifically how and in what context the request was made, and specifically how relevant law enforcement responded. Nor has there been a full explanation as to whether the video was requested of others, such as Mr. Rice’s attorney or the casino where the incident occurred (and if not, why not), or whether any employees, agents, or consultants of the league or any of its teams outside of your office had access to the video prior to September 8. We therefore urge greater transparency and explanations of these matters.
Who gives a fuck that the public hasn’t been informed how the request was made? I didn’t lose a single minute of sleep over it on Wednesday night. Twitter idiots shouldn’t be able to sway Congress into drafting letters. Let ESPN worry about all that shit. Let them pacify Twitter idiots with columns from Bill Simmons and Jason Whitlock. Go back to worrying about shit like my $4,000 being attached to a guided missile that’s about to blow the fuck out of some dude running around a desert wearing black.
Or maybe you could figure out a way for taxpayers to make one phone call to the IRS and give you $4,000.
Too much to ask?