The big news out this afternoon is that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos are getting a divorce and will split the $140 billion fortune built via the growth of Amazon, resulting in MacKenzie Bezos walking away with a reported $69 billion, making her the richest woman in the world. I’m not sure the NSFWBDs have even fully digested the news at this time because the reaction hasn’t exactly started to go nuts like I’d expect over such a blockbuster.
Think about this for a minute: there’s going to be a single woman out there with $69 billion in f-you money just waiting to go nuts on the open market. That has guys speechless. Meanwhile, Bad Boy Jeff will be out there slayin’ it. Don’t be shocked if he goes on an IG shopping spree hitting up a little bit of everything from around the world.
As for what this means for your Amazon account, Jeff will figure out a way to get money out of you to make up for his loses. It shouldn’t take long for him to make back that $69 billion and not be in a boring marriage. Your Amazon Prime will probably go up $20 and he’ll go all Dan Bilzerian on IG. 2019 might end up the wildest year in recent memory.
Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and novelist MacKenzie Bezos will be splitting up a $140 billion fortune. She'll be the richest woman in the world. https://t.co/SdfSZPagrN
— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) January 9, 2019