What have we learned from Rob Gronkowski about life over the last 12 months? Fist pumping, grinding on blondes, wearing Zubaz, being Team Leader of the JB's and having chicks cup your balls for Instagrams can all pay off. The Patriots tight end signed a six-year deal today worth $54 million. That's a HUGE deal for a guy who "still wears jeans from high school," according to his father. Just think of the beach house he can afford for Spring Break '13. It's on, beotches! JUMP!
Yesterday we ran photos of Jay Cutler at some famous Tennessee steeplechase event where he seemed to be bro'd out at a high level with his pink shirt and loafers. Chris in D.C. emailed us and said to look up a certain NFC West QB who was at a steeplechase event back in April. "Seems like going to a stupid horse race is suddenly the cool thing to do in the NFL," he wrote. Yep, Chris is right. We found our guy. JUMP!
Ho-hum. Dammit, how cool would it be to go back to your 22-24-year-old days and live life like Gronk and Team Jizz Blaster? From one city to the next. Tampa to Aruba, to Spring Break, to Boston, to the Playboy Mansion, back to Boston and then to Miami. That's in like 5 1/2 weeks. Seriously, if ESPN was to ever get in the 'reality' business, the time is now. Team Jizz Blaster on ESPN2 just going from city to city making bachelorette parties that much better. JUMP!
For those of you who were stuck at home during today's ceremonies at Fenway, you missed an apparently drunken Pedro Martinez and Kevin Millar standing on the Red Sox dugout and leading an awkward toast with fans. Yes, Pedro and Cowboy Up had bottles of grape juice in their hands, but we assume they were pounding something strong earlier in the day. Nothing makes us smile quite like drunken Pedro. One of the best. JUMP!
So we kinda got into it last night with Auburn nation over the Charles Barkley with greasy redneck Auburn bros during rodeo weekend photo. We thought Auburn fans/students were honored to be called greasy rednecks. Maybe coming from a Yankee it was an insult. Just reporting what we see. And the guys with Barkley look like their clothes could use a wash. Anyway, Chuck also took time out of his night for picture time with this lass. JUMP!
Three items stand out in this video from last night's Coyotes-Blackhawks NHL playoffs first-round game in Phoenix. (1.) St. Louis Blues fan is uber excited to be at a game featuring Phoenix & Chicago. (2.) Is Coyotes fan planning to take all five beer cups home with him? Having a hard time locating red Solo cups in the PHX, brah? (3.) Just look at the eyes on (we're calling her) Connie as she soldiers through OT. All kinds of f*cked up? JUMP!
You know how to get away with drinking beers during an NFL offseason and get away with it? Win a Super Bowl. The more we look into Eli Manning's April itinerary, the clearer it becomes that this guy just might be a closeted hardo looking to make his grand entrance onto the hardo scene. While Peyton is worrying about building a contender in Denver, Eli is sipping beers in Mississippi & Miami. Not even hiding the booze. JUMP!
Need more proof Ryan Leaf is a pill-popping junkie with an Oxy addiction? The guy was arrested Friday on drug, theft & burglary charges. Guess who was arrested yesterday on nearly identical charges? Yep, the former #1 draft pick of the San Diego Chargers. He posted bail on the first charge and went hunting for some pills, according to police. At least he's in jail today awaiting a court appearance. JUMP!
Did you expect The Gronk to go easy during his second consecutive week of Spring Break? Meathead is going extra HAM on South Padre Island as we speak and BC just can't get enough of this bro. Imagine being 22, the best tight end in the NFL and bros just lining up to party with you. Imagine being allowed behind the bar to mix drinks at some South Padre Island bar. Imagine having the world by the balls. JUMP!
Thanks to the superb research of @Sportsfeeder1 we learn of a certain MLB Hall of Famer who played in Boston and Tampa who happened to be in Mexico last week. And was supposedly drunk. And supposedly crashed some guy's wedding. It's all right there, documented on Twitter. You drunken MLB Hall of Famers are on notice. Twitter will out your asses. You crash a Mexican wedding party? Twitter will be there. Your drunken Hall of Famer - JUMP!
Update: This is a sick day/personal day/site issues/Thanksgiving Eve look back at the Busted Coverage archives. This post was originally published Jan. 21, 2009. We miss the “Legendary Neckbeard Kyle Orton.” He had to go and grow up. Get married....