MMA fighter Fernando Rodrigues has a lifetime 3-5 record. He also now owns one of the first distinctions in Cuff 'Em history. State attorneys in Florida have successfully argued that Rodrigues shouldn't be allowed bail in a road rage incident this week that left his alleged victim beaten to a pulp. The reasoning why Fernando should be jailed without bond? His hands and feet are deadly weapons. Seriously. JUMP!
You know how we know this parent Joseph Cordes takes his daughter's hockey games too seriously? How far would you go to help your daughter's team get an advantage during a high school hockey game? Would you stand in the corner of an arena and shoot a laser pointer into the eyes of the opposing goalie? Are you that crazy? Well, Cordes is. And now the cops want to have a word with Super Dad. JUMP!
Via: Marcus Vick turned himself in to the Newport News City Jail on Sunday evening and was ordered Monday to begin serving a 10-day jail term on a contempt of court charge.Vick, 27, had been ordered to turn himself in last Monday on the misdemeanor contempt charge after twice failing to appear in court to answer a 2010 charge of driving on a suspended license. But...he might serve 5 days after credits for good behavior. Purple Drank this Saturday night, bitches!
Via: Former professional basketball player Orlando V. Woodridge [sic], 52, was arrested Friday by the DeSoto Parish Sheriff’s Office after being accused of stealing aluminum water lines from a roadside. Sgt. Chato Atkins said Woolridge stole sections of lines used to transfer water to natural gas drilling sites. The material, with an estimated value of over $2,000, was sold for scrap. Let's not jump to conclusions about drugs. Might've just been behind on his car payments.
There are days when Cuff 'Em is horrible and the only story we can wrangle is something about a guy wearing a Colorado Rockies baseball hat & 'poofy' jacket jumping through a drive-thru window and robbing a coffee shop. Then there are days when BC comes across starlets like Georgia soccer player Carli Shultis. This chick was arrested last week on one of the craziest theft charges - EVER. We promise. JUMP!
Via: Former Oregon State University basketball player Daniel Deane was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance, possession of marijuana, intent to deliver marijuana, and money laundering on Thursday afternoon near Burns, Oregon. His father Greg Deane played in the NBA for the Utah Jazz. Let's not get carried away. His dad played exactly 7 games for the Jazz & made exactly 2 shots!
It's no wonder we're losing our asses to the Chinese. When guys like Preston Bailey III have their drug business dreams ruined by cops it's a bad day for college students who try to get ahead by slinging some pot. What makes this story even better is that Preston was a college football player. How did he get the money to start his drug bidness? JUMP!
YES, YES, YES, YES, this happened in Gainesville, Florida. Yes, someone in Ohio will trump this idiot by Friday morning. Yes, his wheelchair got stuck in the sand after he stole a 12-pack and electrical tape. Yes, he was wearing a Florida Gators hat and Gators sweatshirt. We're still waiting for the surveillance video to be released because this story might be one of our all-time favorite Cuff 'Ems. JUMP!
Via: An assistant coach for the Creighton University women's basketball team was arrested early Sunday on suspicion of driving while intoxicated. Carrie Moore, 26, of Bellevue, was arrested after employees at a McDonald's restaurant found her passed out in her car at the drive-through, Bellevue police Officer Sean Vest said. Moore told police that she had been at the Creighton men's game late Saturday and had a few drinks afterward. Punishment: 35 suicides.
You might remember this photo of Lena Gercke that we ran last week and was published in the March issue of GQ Germany. That's Lena's futbol playing boyfriend Sami Khedira helping with the handbra. No biggie, right? Well, in Tunisia a newspaper ran this photo and now three employees have been arrested and nutjobs are threatening to burn down the newspaper's building. Not kidding. JUMP!
Via: A 50-year-old woman accused of dousing her dad with iced tea on Super Bowl Sunday was arrested, even though she said the chilled beverage soaking was an act of "self defense," a recently released report states. The apparent tossed tea tumult began brewing Feb. 5 as a 79-year-old man told Port St. Lucie police he argued with his daughter, Jacqueline Collins, the Port St. Lucie police report states. Florida, our love affair continues. Don't stop being weird. Kisses.
Via: Police tell NBC4 a man entered the bank and stood in line waiting for a teller. Upon approaching the counter, he handed the teller a note saying he would hurt her if she did not give him the money. No weapon was observed and the teller complied with his request and handed the man the cash from her drawer, according to police. Totally smart move wearing your OSU jacket during a bank robbery. That won't give you away or anything to the family in Gahanna.
Rarely do we come across a Circle K robbery in Phoenix where the suspect is a teen, has a ridiculous earring, has chin studs, a Three Stooges haircut and is wearing an Alabama hat. Whew. About as hardcore as they come these days. This pussy decided to go on a beer run way back in October and police are STILL looking for him, according to CBS5 in Phoenix. How this is just now crossing our desk is an embarrassment to local TV. JUMP!
Bob Lorenz has been around the world of sports for what seems like 25 years or so, bouncing between CNNSI, TNT & TBS. Now he's at the YES Network living the good life. Things must be great because he's on the hook for a DUI relating to an early Wednesday morning incident with Connecticut police. How (allegedly) hammered was our boy, Lorenz? Passed the f*ck out at a stop light. Gone. Hammered. Nappy time. JUMP!
Via: Two men from out of state were arrested late Super Bowl Sunday after they yelled at a woman and chased her around her car because she was wearing a New York Yankees coat and hat, according to a city police report. Lynn Jordan, 25, of Texas, and Andrew Bonner, 23, of Vermont, were arrested on breach of peace charges. Bigger crime here: dropping f-bombs on this woman or this woman wearing a Yankees hat & coat on Super Bowl Sunday? Make the call.
Via: According to the report, at around 1 a.m. Sunday, a bartender at the Pearl Street Pub and Cellar at 1108 Pearl St. said Pericak lit the contents of a metal bucket on fire. Bartenders said the bucket contained trash and miscellaneous papers and were able to put it out with no damage to the bar. Pericak later told police, "Listen, I had some beers and caused some trouble, but I haven't done anything illegal... I left the bar." Totally innocent. Dick cops causing problems. Drop it, boys.
Via: According to police spokesman Bruce Frazier, the man exposed himself to a female shopper at the Wal-Mart store on Shugart Road in the northwest Georgia town on Thursday. “The female shopper was in the area of the shoe department when the suspect got her attention and exposed himself to her,” Frazier said. If the Internet can figure out who the Bama Teabagger was, this one shouldn't take much effort. Spread the word. Have a tip in this case? firstname.lastname@example.org
Want to know how Patriots fan & Ravens fan settle their differences - in Virginia - at 2 a.m. the morning after Billy Cundiff shanked the game-tying field goal? Ravens fan throws Patriots fan through a window. F-ing Billy Mullins. Look at this guy. You think he takes sh*t off some punk ass Patriots fan? Hell no he doesn't. Dude is from Tennessee. Police say Billy and his homeboys exacted a little revenge and now he has a felony on his head. JUMP!
Via CBS 4 Denver: The robbery happened at a Bank of the West near Interstate 25 and County Line. The Arapahoe County sheriff says the man walked into the bank, passed a note to a teller and demanded money. The clerk handed over some cash and the man ran away. The suspect is said to be a white man, about 40 to 50 years old. Still waiting to hear from the FBI on what name is on that jacket. Could Rockies guy just be trying to throw off the fuzz? Is he that smart?
Via WMUR: Police said the robbery happened about 2:30 p.m. at Sovereign Bank on Lafayette Road. Authorities said the robber was a heavy-set, white man with brown hair. He was wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt or jacket and a New England Patriots hat with a pink stripe on the visor. Police said the hat also had a new Patriots logo on the front and possibly a breast cancer support ribbon on the back. No biggie, just making an AFC Championship withdrawal.
Via NorthFulton.com: According to Police Spokeswoman Lisa Holland, the suspect walked into the Suntrust Bank on 2300 Holcomb Bridge Road inside the Kroger grocery store and handed over a notes demanding money. The man is described as in his mid 40s, 5'10", 280 pounds. He was wearing a blue jacket and jeans. Also he had a Mitchell and Ness snapback Buffalo Sabres hockey team baseball cap. Let's get his ass: email@example.com
Excuse us for not knowing the New Mexico State University men's basketball team has a super fan named James K. Killgore. That's what the Las Cruces newspaper is telling us this morning. It seems Kilgore got a little too superfan-y Thursday night during NMSU's game against Utah State. But this is a first. It seems Kilgore got into it with a ref. One thing led to another and, well, a blowjob gesture was made. JUMP!
Via the F.B.I. Knoxville bureau: Today, the Knoxville Division of the FBI launched an electronic billboard campaign seeking the public’s assistance to help identify a serial bank robber active in East Tennessee. The individual is suspected of robbing of at least three banks in Tennessee. He is possibly in his 30s and has been wearing a baseball cap during each of the robberies. We're thinking former college footballer, possibly o-lineman. Nail him: firstname.lastname@example.org
Via ABC7: The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office is looking for a suspect who robbed a 7-11 in Sarasota. Just after 10:30 Monday night, a man entered the store in the 2700 block of Beneva Road with a white cloth covering his face. He implied to the clerk he had a weapon and demanded the money from the register. He is described as a white male, 30-40 years old, approximately 6 feet tall, 170 pounds. Do your thing Ohio State fan. Get his ass: email@example.com
Via the Oklahoman: About 1 p.m. (Sat.), a white male entered the bank inside a grocery store at 249 N Douglas Blvd. and gave the teller a note demanding $100, $50 and $20 bills, FBI spokesman Clay Simmonds said. The teller complied, and the robber left the store. The robber is in his 20s or early 30s and is about 5-feet-11, weighing 180 to 200 pounds. Of f*cking course he's got a poker addiction. Probably some student loans. Wears hats backwards. firstname.lastname@example.org
There are weeks that go by when checking the Maricopa (AZ) Sheriff Office website is a waste of time. And then there are those home runs that make up for all those worthless fishing expeditions. Today we landed a big fish - Michael Gregory Holguin. Thanks goes out to the sheriff office photographer who knew cropping out the Steelers logo would have left these photos 50% more worthless. True, the tats speak volumes, but in the blogging world that simple logo is gold. JUMP!
Via The Telegram: The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary is requesting the assistance of the general public in identifying a person responsible for an armed robbery at a commercial business on Topsail Road in St. John’s, Dec. 26. At the time of the offence, he was wearing a dark winter vest, light- coloured hoodie, dark pants and light-coloured baseball hat. Stupid Canadians. That's a Texas Longhorns hat. Just for that, we're not offering our search services. Suck it.
Via First Coast News (Jacksonville): State alcohol agents arrested a Jacksonville man who they said was selling moonshine from a barbecue stand on Beaver Street the morning of the Gator Bowl game. One agent purchased a shot of vodka and another purchased a shot of moonshine. Agent Dianne Stanley asked for Grey Goose vodka and was advised by the suspect it was moonshine, according to a Jacksonville Sheriff's Office. Yeah, but how was the BBQ? Any good?
Via the Post-Dispatch: A robber stole an undisclosed amount of money today from a Pulaski Bank at 900 Olive Street in the area's first bank robbery of 2012. Surveillance cameras captured the suspect, a black man who appeared to be in his late 30s or early 40s and between 5 feet 9 inches and 5 feet 11 inches tall. Not noted: dude will likely be walking the streets and be color coordinated. This is our year. Afraid to turn in your homeboy? We aren't: email@example.com
Via the Palm Beach Post: A man charged with offering a law enforcement officer two tickets to today's Miami Dolphins pro football season finale to avoid arrest might be mostly guilty of overestimating their value, a judge said at the man's bond hearing this morning. "Have you been watching the Dolphins? No one's going to go to that game," Palm Beach County Judge Timothy P. McCarthy told Topalian. Bro, seriously? Dolphins-Jets tix? Next time: cocaine.
Via NY Times' City Room: A New Jersey man who was pulled over and arrested on Staten Island on Friday night was accused of driving drunk across the Outerbridge Crossing from New Jersey with his 4-year-old son in the back seat of his vehicle, the police said. Stuart Stott, who said he had been at Yankee Stadium on Friday for the Pinstripe Bowl between Rutgers and Iowa State, told the police that he had consumed five or six beers at the game. That's it? Pussy.
Ahh, the year of bath salt arrests. How many times can a human be tased and still live to tell his grandkids? At least six! Via the Bangor Daily News: A man high on bath salts was Tased six times, pepper sprayed twice and kneed in the gut before police were able to arrest him Tuesday. He would have been at court Wednesday, but the Knox County Jail was keeping him in restraints, according to court clerks. We'll miss you, 2011.
Via Pittsburgh's Tribune-Review: Investigators are seeking the public's help in identifying a man who robbed the post office in Bloomfield at gunpoint. He is described as a light-skinned man, 30 to 45 years old, about 5 feet 7 inches tall, with a stocky build. He was wearing a Steelers hooded jacket, green hoodie underneath the jacket, fluorescent green baseball cap, bluejeans, sunglasses and black shoes. That old school jacket give him away? Nail him: firstname.lastname@example.org
Via KETV-Omaha: Officers were called to the First National Bank branch at 50th and G streets around 9 a.m.Investigators said a man walked into the bank, showed a gun and demanded cash.The robber took off in a white mid-2000s Chevrolet Impala with a spoiler on the back. Banks were open on Monday? Not in our 'hood. Anyway, one thing stands out with this robbery - the timing. He barely waited for Christmas to be over & he got at it. Nail his ass: email@example.com
Via the Sun-Sentinel: The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office is looking for a man who robbed a Wellington bank on Thursday. Officials said a man in a Baltimore Orioles baseball cap walked into a Bank of America on Forest Hill Boulevard around 2:20 p.m. He passed a note to a teller that said he had a gun. Afraid for her life, the teller gave the man the cash from the register, officials said. Can't see a face but someone out there recognizes that hat. Not too many of those in the wild.
Via KSEE24 Fresno: (went down Dec. 15) Two men approached a Bank of America teller stating they were armed and demanded money. The suspects left with an undisclosed amount of money and were last seen walking westbound on Bellevue Road towards Winton Way. We're onto you, bros. One tip and you'll be grabbin' ankles in the state pen. Our readership continues to grow and all it takes is one of your homeboys to start snitchin': firstname.lastname@example.org