Cuff ‘Em - page 4

Jul 4, 2012

Crazy Guy Trying To Sell Bombs Out Of Van At Washington Hooters [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Peter Ward Westhaver, 53, is in the Spokane County Jail on a no-bail federal hold. He was leaving the restaurant with the investigators about 3 p.m. when he told them he had explosives in his vehicle. The investigators, who work for the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms and the Spokane County Sheriff's Office, broke their cover and arrested him for officer safety purposes and say he allowed them to search his blue Ford Windstar van. We checked, the Hooters Girls weren't harmed.

Jul 3, 2012

Punk Ass Raiders & Yankees Fans Team Up To Rob Fort Worth Game Room! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: One man was shot and another hurt as he fled a robbery Monday at a Fort Worth game room, police said. The robbers, described as four men armed with two pistols, a shotgun and a rifle, are believed to be responsible for several other game room robberies, including two last month, Fort Worth robbery Sgt. Joe Loughman said. The latest robbery occurred about 4 a.m. Monday at the Big Ten Arcade. Know these punks?

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Jul 2, 2012

Houston Cops Looking For Abe Lincoln & NY Mets Bank Robbery Bandit [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: The FBI is searching for a suspect accused of robbing a Wells Fargo bank in southeast Houston Saturday morning. The man has been dubbed the ‘Abe Lincoln Bandit’ because of his distinctive beard. Around 11:35 a.m., the suspect entered the bank on 11102 Scarsdale and handed the teller a note demanding money. He then allegedly lifted his shirt to display a pistol stuck into his waistband. Scared to turn in Abe? We will:

Jun 30, 2012

Philadelphia Police Hunting For Fake Beard Phillies Fan After Bank Heist [Cuff ‘Em]

A reader once complained to us that we did way too many Baseball Cap Bank Robber Cuff 'Em stories and this guy couldn't understand why BC cared about some guy robbing a bank in a baseball hat. Today is the payoff. Today we sit back in our chair and exhale because this right here is why we get up in the morning. Humanity. To find a guy who accented his giant fake beard with a Phillies cap. JUMP!

Jun 28, 2012

Florida Bro Threatens To Kick Some Ass After Dropping A Deuce [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A 54-year-old man was arrested after sheriff's investigators say he threatened to kick a neighbor's buttocks after moving his bowels. "When I get done taking a (poop), I am going to kick your (expletive) (buttocks)," Gernot is quoted as telling a 40-year-old neighbor. The neighbor said he got upset and told Gernot to cease speaking to his mother in such a way. He said Gernot threatened him, and he threatened Gernot in return. Yes, it's a slow sports arrest day.

Jun 27, 2012

San Franciso Cops Dressing Up As Dodgers Fans During Giants Series [Cuff ‘Em]

The Giants & Dodgers wrap up a 3-game series at Pac Bell today at 3:45 EST and it'll also mark the end of the San Francisco police department's undercover program - until the next series. Cops have been dressing up as Dodgers fans, just waiting for morons to attack them for wearing Dodgers gear. Sounds like enticement to us. S.F. cops say that's not the case at all. JUMP!

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Jun 26, 2012

Dirty Bird Jamal Anderson Popped For DUI In Atlanta [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Former Atlanta Falcon Jamal Anderson is facing DUI charges, according to DeKalb County police. Anderson was arrested early Sunday morning after he was stopped in the 3000 block of Chamblee Tucker Road. No other details were immediately available regarding Anderson's arrest. Surprisingly, Jamal hasn't addressed (@jamthedirtybird) his failure to call a taxi Saturday night to take his drunk ass home.

Auburn Frosh QB Zeke Pike Gets Drinking Career Off To Hot Start; Public Intox! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: The arrest on the misdemeanor charge took place on South College Street in Auburn, according to WLTZ-TV in Columbus, Ga. Pike, 19, arrived in Auburn in January and participated in spring practice, battling for time at quarterback with Kiehl Frazier and Clint Moseley. He completed 4-of-8 passes for 42 yards in the spring A-Day Game. 5-STAR RECRUIT! 5-STAR RECRUIT! 5-STAR RECRUIT!

Jun 25, 2012

Roll Tide! Chris Simpson Was Forging Parents’ Checks…For Dope? [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Christopher Martin Simpson, 24, was charged with six counts of forgery. He is being held at the Morgan County Jail on a $15,000 bond. Simpson's parents, Melissa and Wade Simpson, reported to Decatur police on March 13 that some of their checks were stolen, forged and made payable to their son, Christopher, who cashed the checks against their bank account, police said. Just a hunch that Chris might have a drug problem. Just a wild guess.

Jun 21, 2012

Grizzled Cubs Fan Pulls Of Three Bank Robberies In One Day! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: The robber, a white man who appeared to be in his 60s, started in Poway when he demanded cash from a teller at Chase bank on Poway Road about 9:30 a.m. He hit U.S. Bank on Vista Village Drive in Vista about 1:30 p.m., and finished up back in Poway, where he robbed a U.S. Bank on Poway Road about 3 p.m. Each time, he handed a demand note to a teller and said he was armed. Scared to turn in your crazy uncle? We will:

Jun 18, 2012

Jun 16, 2012

The Justin Blackmon Jail Interview Video Is A Total Gutbuster [Cuff ‘Em]

Of course the Justin Blackmon DUI story has been driven down your throat because there are so many different elements in play here. First, you have Blackmon just being drafted and already landing a DUI. Then, you have the element where Blackmon has two DUIs. Another element is Blackmon wearing a Kobe jersey during his recent DUI. Then you have the jailhouse DUI interview obtained by First Coast News. "I'm literally not a drinker," he tells the cop. Hilarious!

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Jun 15, 2012

America’s Dumbest Rent-Uh-Cop: Dude Ripped Off Robin Ventura Autographed Baseball From School, Fuzz Alleges [Cuff ‘Em]

Meet 21-year-old Cameron James Taylor. He's just another homeslice trying to make a living in this country via a legitimate job, albeit one as a rent-a-cop for some California high school. He was hired to work early Thursday morning on school grounds in Santa Barbara. One thing led to another, cops allege, and Taylor was busting into the school's memorabilia case...for this. JUMP!

Jun 12, 2012

Blondes Showing Off Boobs At Missouri Golf Course Popped For Indecency! [Cuff ‘Em]

Sure, Shelly Lewis & Alicia Binford are both past their prime, but it's that time of year when golf outings turn into a chance to show off your boobs. These ladies were busted yesterday afternoon when Madison County Sheriff's Department deputies saw the pair flashing their racks. Two things come to mind right off the bat with this story: (1.) Flashing on a Monday afternoon? (2.) What jerkoff turned in these two on a Monday afternoon? JUMP!

Jun 11, 2012

Giants OL David Diehl Pre-Tweets His Euro 2012 DUI [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Giants starting left tackle David Diehl was busted for DWI in Queens last night — with his blood-alcohol level allegedly more than twice the legal limit — after smashing into parked cars, police sources said. Diehl, 31, a member of both of Big Blue’s recent Super Bowl teams, was driving his black BMW when he struck two vehicles on 35th Avenue near 31st Street in Astoria at around 8:20 p.m., the sources said. Here's Diehl Twitter account. Surprisingly no DUIIIIIIIIII tweets!

Jun 9, 2012

UGA Professer Dressed Up As A Lady And Was Arrested On Prostitution Charges [Cuff ‘Em]

This 65 year old University of Georgia professor dressed up as a woman and set up a meeting with an undercover officer in a hotel. The UGA professor, Max Reinhart, went under the code name 'Sasha' where he "came to an agreement" with the undercover cop. Reinhart teaches literature and German music at Georgia. I'm sure UGA Head Coach Mark Richt will appreciate the hustle. JUMP!

Jun 8, 2012

Bieber Raiders Fan Up In This M&T Gettin’ Himself Some Free Cash [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: An M&T Bank was robbed in Forestville Thursday afternoon. Police are trying to identify the man who robbed the bank, located at 3700 Donnell Dr. The suspect is a black male with a light mustache. He was last seen wearing an Oakland Raiders hat, white-framed sunglasses, a dark colored jacked and black shirt. Homeboy won't last long. No way he is throwing away those glasses. He paid good money for them. Know homeslice?

Jun 7, 2012

Auburn Fans Being Arrested For Drugs & Domestic Violence: Adam & Kasey [Cuff ‘Em]

Yesterday we made fun of Alabama by finding one of the most disgusting Bama strippers on the Internet. Only being fair in this rivalry, we dedicate today's Cuff 'Em to a couple of Auburn fans arrested this week. One guy was popped for domestic violence. The other had some illegal prescription drugs. That's right, we're totally fair and balanced on this rivalry. You wear a logo from Auburn or Alabama and we'll find your ass. JUMP!

Jun 6, 2012

Baseball Cap Robber Pointing Gun At 4-Year-Old In TX Cellphone Store! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Dallas police are trying to identify and locate two men who robbed a Metro PCS business and the customers inside. The men robbed the store, in the 2600 block of W. Jefferson, on Monday, May 28. It is believed the customer was told to come inside and sit in a chair. At one point a suspect points the gun at the male customers head and demands his wallet. While the man reaches to get it the suspect then points the gun at his 4-year-old daughter.

Jun 5, 2012

South Carolina Graduation Cheer Mom Acts Like Moron, Popped For Disorderly! [Cuff ‘Em]

Why do certain single black mothers always seem to act like morons at events where being civil, quiet and reasonable is the norm, not the exception? Take this high school graduation in Florence, South Carolina. Parents were told not to cheer when their kid was announced. Just sit there on your ass and act like a reasonable human being. Not Shannon Cooper. Police had to take her cheering ass to the county jail. JUMP!

May 31, 2012

World’s Least Swagged Out Bank Robber Wearing Royals Lid In Queens Holdup! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Police are on the lookout for a suspect wanted in connection with an armed robbery of a Queens bank. HSBC Bank on Hillside Avenue in Queens Village was robbed on Friday, May 25 when the suspect passed a note to the teller demanding money, police said. The note also indicated he had a gun. And the dude is wearing a North Face coat. Total Uncle Tom. Makes other bank robbers wanna puke.

May 30, 2012

N.C. Homeboy Stabs His Girlfriend With Kitchen Knife At T-Ball Game [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A woman was stabbed several times in the neck Tuesday evening during a T-ball game at Meadow Elementary School outside of Benson, according to the Johnston County Sheriff's Office. The victim, whose name was not released, was taken to WakeMed. Her boyfriend, Kendall Basker, 23, was arrested at the scene, authorities said. The couple has three children together. She obviously didn't have a sammich ready when he got home from work. Lesson learned.

May 29, 2012

MetLife Stadium Parking Lot Beatings After Mexico-Wales Soccer Match [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A 37-year-old Brooklyn man was critically injured tonight after he was beaten by a group of men in the parking lot at MetLife Stadium, authorities said. His brother, also assaulted, suffered less serious injuries. The beating, which happened around 6:15 p.m. after a soccer match between Mexico and Wales, left Alfredo Lopez in critical condition at Hackensack University Medical Center, according to Sgt. Brian Polite, a spokesman for the N.J. State Police.

May 28, 2012

Chipotle Robber Arrested After Refusing To Pay $50 Tab At Another Restaurant [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: David Carroll, 31, is charged with armed robbery, aggravated battery and attempted armed robbery. Police say he robbed the Chipotle restaurant in the 300-block of North Michigan on Friday. During the holdup, he allegedly cut one of the employees on the hand. Police arrested Carroll after they say he went to a nearby restaurant, racked up a $50 bill and then refused to pay. Think this scumbag ever spit in the steak tips that went in your burrito bowl? Of course he did.

May 26, 2012

Faux-Hawked Bus Driver Busted For Drugs Before H.S. Disneyland Trip [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: An alert police officer who boarded a bus full of recent Utah high school graduates headed to Disneyland averted what could have been a deadly road trip after arresting the driver for suspicion of being under the influence of drugs, authorities said Friday. Adams said the officer then found prescription pills, drug paraphernalia and what is believed to be cocaine in the backpack. A 30-year-old bus driver with a faux-hawk? Should we be shocked by the drugs?

May 24, 2012

Mass. Cops Looking For Red Sox Robber Instead Arrest Yankees Fan On Warrant! [Cuff ‘Em]

Here we go again with a Yankee-Red Sox rivalry arrest story. Of course there have been Yankees-Red Sox beatings that've made headlines over the years. There have been Yankees fans robbing banks. Same from the Red Sox side. But have you ever heard of a Red Sox fan pulling off an armed robbery and the Massachusetts cops arresting a Yankees fan instead? Yeah, it happened this week. JUMP!

May 23, 2012

Dapper Phillies Robber Wants All The Money Up In This Chicago Bank! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A north side PNC Bank branch was robbed late Tuesday morning. The robber entered the bank, 3940 N. Harlem, and demanded money from a teller. He implied he had a weapon but did not display one, and no injuries were reported, police said. Just when we think Phillies Nation is on the right track some bro in Chicago has to ruin the fan reputation. Kinda a ballsy move wearing the Phillies gear in a Chi-town robbery. One of you knows him.

May 21, 2012

Topless Chick Attacks Euro 2012 Soccer Trophy – AGAIN! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A topless female protestor has again attacked the trophy to be awarded at Euro 2012, knocking it to the floor at an exhibition in Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine, on Monday, the Femen group to which the protestors belong said Monday. The protestor was accompanied by a French journalist for Marie Claire magazine, and both were arrested afterwards together with several journalists, the group said. Finally, protestors we can fully support in the Ukraine. Do you take PayPal?

May 19, 2012

Braves Homeboy Ain’t Even Playin’ Up In This Georgia T-Mobile [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Two men robbed the T-Mobile store off Bullsboro Drive around noon Friday and were still at large hours later. A gunman entered the store and ordered the employees to the back room, said Sergeant Chad Wood with the Newnan Police Department. About 20 seconds later another man wearing a mask entered the store. Do you know a homeboy in Newnan, GA bragging on Facebook about his new T-Mobile phone? Could be this guy!

May 17, 2012

Anyone See A Kentucky Bank Robber Wearing Chicago Hat In Cadillac Headed For Ohio? [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: First suspect is black male, 6 feet, 1 inch tall, weighing 220 - 230 pounds, has a beard, wearing tan Carhart coat and toboggan. Second suspect is black male, 5 feet, 10 inches tall, weighing 165-180 pounds, wearing a ball cap with the word Chicago on it, Nike fleece pullover. Vehicle is described as silver Cadillac, 1993 - 1995 model year, last seen heading west toward Cincinnati on Kentucky 9.

May 15, 2012

Alabama Grandfather Kicks 20-Year-Old Umpire’s Ass, Is Arrested! [Cuff ‘Em]

Yes, we're a couple days late. Suck it. Via: Investigators say 55-year-old Daryl Keeton began heckling the umpire during the game, then decided to confront the ump in the parking lot at Mt. Olive ballpark after the game, and that's when he punched the 20-year-old umpire in the nose, bloodying the official. An off-duty Birmingham police officer restrained Keeton until the sheriff's department got there. Now Keeton could face 10 years in jail if convicted.

May 14, 2012

Father Arrested For Doing 104 MPH To Get Kids To Soccer Game! [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A Petaluma man was arrested Saturday morning by police who said he was driving 104 mph with two nine-year-old children in the car. Juan Carlos Gallegos, 41, said he was in a hurry because the boys were going to be late for their soccer game, according to the Petaluma Police Department. Then Klein saw a Nissan Altima veer across double yellow lines into oncoming traffic near Brown's Lane to pass vehicles. No word from cops if the kids ever made it to the game.

May 12, 2012

Austin Cops Looking For Texas Longhorns Superfan Who Keeps Robbing Businesses [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Austin Police are looking for a suspect they believe is responsible for a series of robberies in Austin. The first incident was May 8 at Mr. Nice Guys on South First Street, the second was May 10 at a Conoco on Cameron Road and then again on May 10 at a Shell station on Ben While Boulevard. During each robbery, the suspect entered the establishments, displayed a weapon and asked for money. No injuries have been reported.

May 9, 2012

Bank Robber Claims He Did It Because Dreams Of Making Millions In NFL Derailed [Cuff ‘Em]

Meet Christopher Lamarque Miller. He might have one of the biggest bullshit cop-out excuses in bank robbery history. You see, Miller played some college football at Missouri State, not exactly a school pumping out NFL talent. But Miller had dreams. The guy is now 27 and still hasn't gotten over the fact that the NFL never came calling. How upset? He admittedly went and robbed a bank to get NFL rich. Not kidding. JUMP!

May 4, 2012

Baseball Cap Bank Robber Spells Out What He Wants From This Bank Teller [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: Police are seeking information about a man who robbed an Orlando Bank of America late Thursday morning. Surveillance images at the bank on Conway Road show the man holding up a paper that stated, "Give me all big bills no bands no one gets shot." True, there's no logo on that baseball hat, but it was impossible to pass up this guy's bank robbery poster. Did he hyphenate "bonds?" Scared to turn in this punk? We will:

May 3, 2012

Former Dallas Cowboys OL Arrested For _________ At A Tampa Strip Club [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: A former starting offensive lineman (Torrin Tucker) for the Dallas Cowboys was arrested Tuesday night and charged with felony drug and weapons charges after police say he sold an undercover officer $20 in marijuana in the strip club where he works. A subsequent search found 18 baggies of marijuana "packaged for sale" and nine capsules containing cocaine, all in a Crown Royale bag "stuffed down the front of (his) pants," according to the report.

May 2, 2012

Yankees Fan Risks Hate Rapes In Jail Over $500 In A Bank Robbery [Cuff ‘Em]

Via: COLONIE, N.Y. -- Colonie Police arrest a man accused of robbing a bank on Tuesday. Police said Brian Sweeney walked into the Citizen's Bank at 1440 Central Avenue, and then handed the teller a note demanding money. He was given $500, then left the bank. Wait, that has to be a misprint. $500? That's it? A couple weeks of minimum wages vs. multiple years in jail? We read up on this guy. He was living in a Super 8. Seriously.